


Love / Grace

by deepestbluest



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Getting Together, Iruka didn't take a shuriken to the spine not to be Naruto's dad, M/M, Spirits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:21:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22624711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestbluest/pseuds/deepestbluest
Summary: The balloon lands in Iruka’s palm but doesn’t fly back up. Iruka narrows his eyes at Kakashi as he squeezes it hard enough to make Kakashi’s instincts scream at him to run. “That boy has never had a parent, Kakashi-san. No one taught him how to take care of himself because no one cared enough to. I was trying, but, well.” He shrugs, but the indifference doesn’t last. “He isn’t being blamed for my death, is he?”
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 112
Kudos: 560





	Love / Grace

**Author's Note:**

> The plot and timeline in this are a mess, but Kishimoto did it first. I merely escalated the nonsense and fixed what he forgot to add: Iruka is Naruto's dad, Kakashi gets the love he deserves, and neither of them is straight
> 
> The title is paraphrased from "Fight to Keep" by Run River North

Kakashi watches in morbid curiosity as the ground under the feet of the three shinobi chasing him through the forest outside Konoha springs up, launching them into the air. They're sent back violently; they all recover enough to prepare to land safely but can't do anything stop their unexpected flight.

“That’s a pretty bad wound,” a voice says next to Kakashi.

Spinning around, Kakashi has a kunai up and at the ready in a moment, his heart pounding in his chest. How did he miss someone coming up beside him?

It isn’t an enemy ninja he’s faced with, though. A man in a flak jacket and a Leaf headband smiles at him, one hand raised in greeting. He looks almost familiar. “You really should be getting to the hospital, Kakashi-san,” he says. “Besides, that scroll really should get to Konoha.”

“How do you know-”

“I know everything that happens in these woods.” There’s no threat in the words, only warmth, but Kakashi’s skin still prickles. “You really should get going, you know. I won’t be able to carry you into the village if you pass out.”

_That’s a suspicious restriction._

Still, he helped Kakashi out. He’s wearing a Leaf headband, too, so unless this is a very strange trap, he’s probably just an oddball.

“Thanks for your help,” Kakashi says.

The man’s mouth twists in an almost-smile as he shakes his head. “As Leaf shinobi, we have to look after each other, don’t we? Tell the Third I hope he’s doing well.”

“How do you know I’ll-”

“It was nice speaking with you, Kakashi-san. Try not to die in my forest." The man's mouth twists in a wry smile. "Enough of us have died out here, and you've got better things to do.”

With that, he disappears.

Kakashi blinks at the spot where he was for a long moment, then shakes it off. Whatever that was, it’s over over now. He’s fine. The enemy has been delayed, if not dispatched. Konoha’s less than ten minutes away. He needs to get going.

* * *

As Kakashi comes to the end of his verbal report to Hiruzen, he hesitates for a moment.

“Is something wrong, Kakashi?”

“Not wrong, exactly,” Kakashi hedges. “More like, something strange happened on the way home.”

The Third quirks a brow at him. “Oh?”

“A Leaf ninja showed up and helped me. He must have used some kind of earth jutsu- it moved and sent my pursuers flying. I didn’t recognize him, though, and I didn’t feel any change in chakra.”

Oddly, Hiruzen smiles. “Did he say anything to you?”

“He told me to get going before I died because he couldn't carry me into Konoha. And that the forest is his.”

“Yes, that sounds like him.”

Hiruzen doesn’t seem concerned, so Kakashi adds, “He also asked me to tell you he hopes you’re well.” The slip in Hiruzen’s expression only lasts a moment, but Kakashi catches it. “Hokage-sama?”

“You don’t have to worry about that man,” Hiruzen says quietly. “Iruka is prone to playing tricks- he was a troublemaker for a long time, so it was unavoidable that he’d still be fond of it- but he isn’t malevolent. Don’t go out of your way to bother him and you’ll be fine.”

“So he isn’t dangerous,” Kakashi confirms.

“No, not to Konoha or its shinobi.”

Sensing that Hiruzen is waiting for him to leave, Kakashi bows and takes his leave.

He hands a chūnin at the Missions Desk his written report. The man looks from it to Kakashi nervously. “I’m very sorry, um-”

“Hatake Kakashi,” Kakashi supplies helpfully.

“Hatake-san,” the man says. “Thank you, but I can’t accept this.”

“Why not?”

“It’s illegible.” He gestures to one place in the middle of the page that, Kakashi can admit, he didn’t write out very well.

“I see.”

“You’ve also left a number of spaces blank.” Handing it back, the man says, “Please come back when you’ve completed it correctly. Until then, we can’t pay you.”

 _Another bad one, huh,_ Kakashi thinks, but he accepts the returned papers without complaint. The reports are probably useful in some way, but there are so many fields, most of which seem to ask the same thing…

He’s given up on trying to get them done correctly the first time around. Whichever chūnin he sees at the desk is always polite, but the new ones always look so let down when he gives them his first rough draft of the first report he gives them. They quickly learn to expect to demand multiple tries from him, though.

The medical-nin patches him up well enough after he leaves the tower that Kakashi decides a stroll through the woods would be nice. A little fresh air without people chasing him, a tree he could read in and maybe take a nap…

He finds a suitable tree, pulls out his book, and lets himself enjoy the sunshine.

“What an embarrassing book to read in public,” a voice informs him a few minutes later.

“Is it?” Kakashi asks without looking up. “But I like it, Iruka-san. You shouldn’t be so judgmental of what others enjoy.”

“I can and should be judgmental of Icha Icha,” Iruka says mildly. “You know my name, so you must have spoken to the Third. How is he?”

Kakashi looks up at that and finds Iruka regarding him intently. He’s hanging upside down from the branch above Kakashi, but the position doesn’t seem to bother him.

Closing his book, Kakashi crosses his arms across his chest. “You ask a lot of questions for someone who’s being mysterious about himself.”

“I’m being mysterious? How am I-” Iruka sighs. “I suppose my death wasn’t good for the village. Still, I didn’t die shamefully. I didn’t think they’d keep it quiet.”

Iruka being dead doesn’t surprise Kakashi. The lack of chakra, Hiruzen's reaction, the strange feeling Kakashi hadn’t recognized until he thought back…

The look of misery on Iruka’s face hurts, and Kakashi feels a twinge of guilt for causing it.

“It could be that I just don't know,” he offers. “I’m usually behind on legends.”

That only makes Iruka give him a long, measuring look. “You really don’t remember me, do you? Well, we only worked together once and it was years ago.”

“We did?”

Iruka nods. “It was my last mission outside Konoha.”

Kakashi’s gut clenches. “You didn’t-”

“Die on the mission? No, I survived. Don’t worry, Kakashi-san. You didn’t forget a fallen teammate.” He waves Kakashi’s concern away. “I’m not haunting you.”

Kakashi hadn’t gotten that far. “How do you know the Third?”

As quickly as the irritation came, it disappears. In its place, Iruka grins. “And dispel my mystery? If you want to know something, you should look for yourself, Kakashi-san.”

“Isn’t asking one way to do that?” Kakashi asks.

“It is. But now that I’ve said no, you’ll have to go looking to find out. Let me know if you find anything interesting,” Iruka says. “Good luck!”

Without so much as a twitch, he disappears again.

Kakashi sighs. The report is burning a joke in his pocket. He doesn’t need more work.

Unlike paperwork, this might prove interesting.

* * *

“Iruka?” the chūnin at the Missions Desk asks. “No, I don’t think there are any shinobi in rotation with that name right now.”

Kakashi fights the urge to take his report back. It would be petty, and the man is distracted because he’s reading it. “Not a current shinobi,” he corrects. “One from the past. Not so long ago, though, I think.”

The chūnin looks up at Kakashi curiously. “I don’t know of any. The Academy keeps records of all its students, though. Try asking there- after you fix your report.”

“What now?” Kakashi asks, keeping a whine out of his voice. He’d definitely completed everything.

“You put the information in the wrong boxes. And in this section-” he points to the line where Kakashi’s signature is “-you weren’t supposed to write anything. And please sign your actual name.”

He hands the report back again. This time, he lays a fresh paper on top- clearly the one Kakashi turned in is unsalvageable.

“Thanks for the help,” Kakashi says. “I’ll bring a correct one next time.”

“Please do!”

* * *

Funeno Daikoku is a good-natured man. He’s taught a number of Konoha’s top shinobi; together with Suzume, who teaches her own classes and takes over kunoichi-specific skills for Daikoku’s students, the two of them have been churning out a steady stream of reliable genin and chūnin.

Kakashi has yet to pass a single one of them, but he doesn’t hold that against them.

Not entirely.

“Iruka?” Daikoku asks. “No, we’ve never had a student named that. Are you sure that’s the right name? We’ve had a few named Ikuo. If you saw the name written down, we could try to check by kanji-”

The two teachers exchanged a look when Kakashi first said the name that says they already have a solid idea of who Kakashi means. They aren’t giving him the runaround, but something more is going on.

“Do you have a family name? A year of birth?” Suzume asks.

Kakashi shakes his head. “No, just the given name. I’m actually not sure how old he would be. I just sort of… came across his handiwork, you know?”

“Handiwork?” Suzume turns to Daikoku. “You don’t think he-”

“He must.” Daikoku looks back at Kakashi, his earlier good mood taken a turn. “Umino Iruka. He was a junior teacher here until he died about a year ago.”

Kakashi already knew Iruka was dead, but it’s still disorienting to hear it again when he was just speaking with Iruka. “How did he die?”

“Remember the scare we had when an Academy student stole a forbidden scroll?” Suzume asks.

“I remember it.” One of the teachers had betrayed Konoha, but Kakashi is almost certain he wasn’t called Iruka. “The boy with the Nine Tails sealed inside him thought he’d be allowed to graduate if he could perform a technique from it.”

Both teachers nod.

“We lost half our staff that year,” Daikoku says. “Mizuki was a good teacher. He understood the process, and the students liked him, even though he never really seemed to know how to teach them to excel. But Iruka…”

“Iruka could have become a better teacher than either of us,” Suzume takes over. “He had a long way to go, of course. He’d only just gotten a class of his own. And he needed a lot of supplementary help with kunoichi-” Daikoku snorts, which is interesting but not the point of this visit “-but he was good at adapting his lessons to his students’ needs. He even managed to get _that_ child to attend almost regularly.”

“He died for Uzumaki Naruto.” Daikoku shakes his head. “Mizuki didn’t betray the village just by trying to sell its secrets. He betrayed us by stealing a valued friend and teacher. Until another teacher is brought in, every class will be too big and every student will suffer.”

“Which won’t happen soon or smoothly,” Suzume says bitterly. “No one wants to be a teacher. This is what you do if you’re a weak shinobi.”

Daikoku sighs. “They even blame Iruka’s death on that. If he’d been a better ninja, he wouldn’t have died. It’s cruel, but we can’t say they’re wrong.”

“If Iruka were here, he would, though.”

They share another knowing look before breaking into weak laughter.

“He really was a loud bastard,” Daikoku says fondly.

Suzume nods. “And a hard worker. I didn’t realize how much he’d taken on until he was gone. I know it was the same at the Missions Desk. Poor Kazuma, having to step into Iruka’s shoes. I don’t know anyone who goes toe-to-toe with jounin like Iruka would. I heard the paperwork Iruka processed was always better quality than anyone else’s because he would make a scene until it was done correctly!”

She laughs softly, but Kakashi can see her blinking away tears.

Daikoku laughs loudly, less distressed than his colleague but not unaffected. “He was a real pain when he decided to be- that’s for sure! It’s no wonder he asked to be transferred to the Academy. He must have been too stubborn to go on missions.”

Kakashi absorbs all this with a sinking feeling. Yelling at the Missions Desk, asking to become a teacher…

“The orphan the Third took a liking to- that was him, wasn’t it?” he asks.

“It was,” Daikoku says, sobering. “I might have resented him for that if he hadn’t been so unpretentious. He never hid where he was going or who he was eating with, but he didn’t lord it over anyone. Besides, we all knew he would have traded all of it for his parents.”

“He used his position with the Third to get the Academy additional funding, including bumps in senior teachers’ salaries, too,” Suzume adds. “I don’t know how you came across him, but Iruka was a good man, Kakashi-san.”

The two of them look like they need a moment to themselves, which Kakashi has no place in witnessing, so he thanks them and makes a quick exit.

He isn’t surprised to find an ANBU waiting for him outside the Academy.

“I’ll be right there,” Kakashi says.

The shinobi nods and disappears.

Kakashi looks up at the sky and considers, just for a moment, what having a teacher like Iruka had been might have felt like. Kakashi probably wouldn’t have cared when he was a student. So long as Iruka taught him what he needed to know, Kakashi wouldn’t have had any reason to think beyond that.

But maybe, as an adult, he might not dread the thought of a team passing his test and coming into his care. If he could go back to the teacher he had and ask that person what he should do if he ever becomes a teacher, he might feel less afraid.

He didn’t have one, though, and there’s no sense in pining for things that can’t be.

* * *

Hiruzen gives Kakashi a long, stern look. “I should have known that cautioning you would only increase your curiosity.”

Kakashi ducks his head. “I’m sorry, Hokage-sama.”

“Was it worth it?”

“What?”

“What you learned about Iruka- are you glad you learned it?”

 _What a strange question._ “I think so, yes.”

“Then it was worth it.” Hiruzen looks out the window- which looks out over the forest, Kakashi realizes. “You remember him now, don’t you?”

The memory won’t settle back in his mind. He’s been reliving the mission and Iruka’s decision in the wake of it ever since he realized who Iruka was. “I do. It’s my fault he became a teacher.”

“Don’t be so egotistical,” Hiruzen chides. “Iruka was never going to be happy in a position that requires taking lives. He would have become a teacher whether you’d stayed with him on that mission or not.”

Kakashi bows his head, acknowledging Hiruzen’s greater understanding of Iruka. “Yes, Hokage-sama.”

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

“I didn’t know him well enough to think one way or another.”

“His parents were model shinobi,“ Hiruzen says slowly. “They loved Konoha, and they were willing to kill and die for it. I often wonder if Iruka could only do the latter because he lost them when he was so young. He was still very attached to them. Perhaps he saw too much of the consequences of taking lives that the rest of us can put aside.” Shaking his head, Hiruzen visibly sets the thought aside. “You never worked directly with his parents, did you? We used to pair new jounin up with them because they had such even temperaments. You understood on your own that Konoha isn’t a village for belligerent people. We fight to protect, not for glory. Iruka’s parents were good at explaining the difference.”

Kakashi nods. He hadn’t realized the absence of Ikkaku and Kohari was responsible for the shift in the attitude of new jounin. He’d thought it was just the way of things. The world has been feeling more and more fraught; that would account for the unsettled feeling in the ranks. It hadn’t occurred to him that one couple no longer being around would contribute to the shift as well.

“It was another teacher who killed him, wasn’t it?” Kakashi asks. “Minato’s son stole a forbidden scroll, and Iruka died to protect him.”

“That's right. I pushed him to take Naruto as his student; if anyone had the capacity to love Naruto, Iruka would- and he did. The two of them became even closer than I’d realized Iruka would permit. It’s unfortunate that opening Naruto’s heart resulted in hurting the boy. Mizuki did more damage to Konoha by killing Iruka than he could have imagined.”

_It’s more than unfortunate. It’s dangerous._

“I haven’t heard anything about Naruto lately. He was fond of making trouble, wasn’t he?”

“He was. After losing Iruka, though, he's been quiet. I’m not sure what to do about it. We can’t risk losing him to the Kyuubi’s hatred, but he’s a stubborn child. He’s still grieving.”

“Can’t he be brought to the woods? Surely speaking to Iruka would help him.”

“No one I’ve sent has been able to talk to him long enough to explain that- he isn’t interested in listening to me either. And Iruka can’t leave the woods, so he can’t go to Naruto.” Tilting his head, Hiruzen frowns at Kakashi. “Although, now that I think of it, I haven’t tried with you, have I?”

“Me?” Kakashi shakes his head quickly. “I’m no good with children, Hokage-sama.”

“You don’t need to be. You just need to bring Naruto together with his teacher. The task won’t be too physically demanding, so you can begin your new mission immediately.”

The smile Kakashi finds himself facing isn’t friendly so much as it is threatening.

There’s no way out of this, so Kakashi just says, “Yes, Hokage-sama,” and accepts his fate.

* * *

Naruto’s apartment is… a mess.

Picking his way through, Kakashi tries to find some trace of his teacher in Naruto’s home but comes up empty. Minato had always been tidy. This place has no order. No pride.

He’s never been somewhere so full of misery that didn’t also have several corpses.

The milk is expired. There’s garbage strewn about. None of the faucets works correctly. The bed isn’t made. The clothes aren’t folded. At least two lights don’t work.

Kakashi sighs. This is going to be difficult.

* * *

The best tactic, so far as Kakashi can see, is going to be speaking with Iruka.

Kakashi tries going to the same tree Iruka appeared in earlier, but after a few minutes of silence, he decides Iruka isn’t going to show.

He wanders through the woods, searching for some sign of the man, but he doesn’t find any.

Until he does.

The balloon explodes behind him. The sound startles Kakashi out of his contemplation- maybe the pack would have better luck?- but he doesn’t manage to escape. Even as he jumps away, he feels something wet hit him and soak through his clothes.

When he whirls around, he finds Iruka sitting at the base of the tree Kakashi had just passed. He looks bored.

“That wasn’t very nice, Iruka-san,” Kakashi sighs.

“Neither is walking into someone else’s house without announcing yourself,” Iruka replies shortly.

“I thought you couldn’t go into Konoha?” Kakashi asks, scrambling to figure out how Iruka figured out where Kakashi had been. He realizes too late that Iruka means the woods. “That is-”

Iruka doesn’t try to help. He just pulls a second balloon out of thin air and tosses it in one hand.

“I know you were Naruto’s teacher,” Kakashi says, abandoning politeness. He just did laundry. “The Third is concerned about him and sent me to check on him. His apartment is a disaster.”

“He lives like an animal, doesn’t he?” Iruka asks. “It’s fitting, since that’s how he’s treated.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” Kakashi argues.

The balloon lands in Iruka’s palm but doesn’t fly back up. Iruka narrows his eyes at Kakashi as he squeezes it hard enough to make Kakashi’s instincts scream at him to run. “That boy has never had a parent, Kakashi-san. No one taught him how to take care of himself because no one cared enough to. I was trying, but, well.” He shrugs, but the indifference doesn’t last. “He isn’t being blamed for my death, is he?”

Kakashi considers lying but ultimately shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

A long moment passes, then Iruka tosses the balloon into the air. Kakashi follows its arc until it disappears. When he looks back down, Iruka is kneeling on the ground, hands on his thighs, head lowered.

“I realize it isn’t my place, but I’d appreciate it if you would take some time to look after him," Iruka says, eyes lowered. "Naruto isn’t a bad child, Kakashi-san. He isn’t well-behaved, but he isn’t malicious either. He doesn’t know how to be. He’s just a little lost.”

Kakashi swallows. Somehow, this is more terrifying than the thought of students passing the bell test. “You really don’t blame him for your parents’ deaths, do you?”

Iruka meets Kakashi’s eyes. His expression is open and earnest. “I don’t.”

“I see... Well, it's not I wasn't going to look after him anyway, right?” Iruka sits up normally, and Kakashi sighs in relief. “You really didn’t have to ask like that."

“Maybe not, but this is important. It’s worth asking humbly.” Iruka’s expression doesn’t waver. “I looked after Naruto for- Not a long time, but long enough to get to know him. He’s probably more guarded than he was when I last saw him. I’d like to offer some help, if I can.”

Kakashi nods.

“Tell him I said I hope he’s been practicing his aim. He’ll never beat Sasuke if he can’t throw shuriken reliably.” Iruka’s voice catches in his throat. Kakashi doesn’t acknowledge that it takes Iruka a couple coughs and half-starts to be able to speak again. “He won’t trust you right away, but if you use my name, you should be able to hold his attention for a little while. After that, it’s up to you.” Iruka hesitates for a moment. Kakashi can see him trying to decide whether it’s a good idea to keep talking. He must decide it is because he adds, “And don’t- Don’t be rough with him. He’s already been hurt more than any child should have to endure. Even if he’s stubborn, even if he’s loud, even if he fights you… Be kind to him, Kakashi-san.”

“I’ll do my best, Sensei.”

“Do better than that.”

Kakashi blinks at him. “Better?”

Iruka looks at Kakashi with such intensity that Kakashi instinctively braces himself. “Better.”

_He really doesn’t trust anyone with that boy, does he? What sort of person is Minato’s son that he won Iruka over like this?_

“You’re very protective of him, Iruka-san.”

“Someone ought to be.”

There’s no need to argue with that, so Kakashi doesn’t. Taking his hand off his kunai bag- an action that makes Iruka raise both brows- Kakashi moves to cross his arms, only to stop short when he sees the bright yellow streak on his hand. “Will I be able to get the paint off?”

Iruka flushes. “I’m not sure. I’ve never used it on someone who came back and told me.”

_So I probably won’t._

Kakashi remembers the papers in his pocket and sighs. “Another unsuccessful attempt at filling out paperwork and I didn’t even get to try.”

“Still struggling with mission reports?” Iruka asks. Kakashi nods, and Iruka looks at him thoughtfully. “Come back with a clean paper and I’ll help you with it.”

“You will?”

Iruka nods. “You take care of Naruto, and I’ll help get your paperwork in order.”

* * *

As Kakashi feared, the paint doesn’t come out.

Kakashi is looking mournfully at the bright yellow patches on his clothes when the worst possible person walks in.

Guy blinks at him for a long moment.

Kakashi braces himself.

“You must have met Konoha’s reigning prankster,” Guy says with surprising gravity. “He’s an interesting man, isn’t he?”

Kakashi had expected laughter and possibly a challenge. This thoughtful version of Guy is strange. “How do you know him?”

“I often train in the forest outside the village. Iruka sets very good traps, so I often challenge him to try to get me!” Guy says it so brightly, Kakashi just knows that he must have pestered Iruka for ages to get him to agree. 

Sighing, Kakashi looks down at his damp, bright yellow clothes. “You know he’s a spirit, don’t you?”

“It would be strange if someone with no chakra were so good at disappearing at will otherwise. Oh, I can see you’re thinking that I bother him.”

“It did occur to me.”

He wins a frown for his efforts.

“Iruka may be dead, but he still gets lonely, Kakashi. He can hear us in the village and see us when we leave. He helps us come home, something he’ll never do again. And through it all, he has to stay in the woods. That would hurt anyone, much less a man as personable as Iruka.” A glint in Guy’s eye tips Kakashi off to what’s about to happen. “That’s why I go out and keep him company! He can’t be lonely when he’s devising ways to try to trick me!”

For once, Kakashi finds himself wanting to share Guy’s enthusiasm. “Well, he does seem happy enough now.”

“Of course he does! I keep him busy!”

Guy doesn’t choose to elaborate on that, and Kakashi isn’t sure he wants to risk knowing.

He makes a hasty retreat when Guy suggests Kakashi join him in wearing a green jumpsuit.

“It’s paint-resistant!” Guy calls.

Kakashi pretends not to hear him.

* * *

The chūnin at the desk hands over the new paperwork Kakashi requests without a word.

* * *

Iruka looks at Kakashi’s first two attempts and hums to himself.

“Well,” he says after too long, “the good news is that I can help.”

“And the bad news?”

“It’s probably going to take a while, so you’re going to have to get used to spending time out here with me.”

Iruka smiles at him, warm and wide, and Kakashi feels himself smile back. It’s automatic, something about Iruka’s simple joy matching something in Kakashi’s chest.

“Lucky for me that I’m a ninja,” Kakashi drawls happily. “Adapting is in the job description.”

* * *

The third time Iruka asks, “What the hell is _that?”_ Kakashi begins to question his confidence.

* * *

When he hands in his Iruka-approved report and gets a heartfelt, “Thank you for your hard work!” he remembers Iruka’s voice saying the same thing.

It’s the last mission report he’ll be filing until he sorts out Naruto.

He still has time to kill and nothing better to do, so Kakashi decides to try his luck with Naruto.

He’s almost disappointed at how easy it is to find the kid.

Naruto is sitting on the roof of a rundown building uncomfortably close to the red-light district. He’s slumped over, his attention fixed on Hokage Rock.

Kakashi waits for him to notice there’s someone standing behind him.

After five minutes, Kakashi starts to wonder if Naruto is ignoring him or if, as Kakashi suspects, Naruto just doesn’t realize he isn’t alone.

_This is your son, Sensei? He should have noticed my chakra before I got anywhere near this close._

“What’s so good about those old guys anyway?” Naruto grumbles to himself. “They let Iruka-sensei die. If they’re so great, where were they when Mizuki-sensei killed him, huh?”

“Most of them were dead, I think,” Kakashi tells him.

Naruto jumps, proving Kakashi right- he’d had no idea Kakashi was there.

_Really… even a civilian would have noticed me._

“Who are you?” Naruto yelps. “Why are you here? If you want a fight-”

Kakashi waves that off. “No thanks. I saw you sitting up here and wondered what you were up to.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just sitting here. See?” Naruto gestures to himself and the world immediately around him. “I’m just looking. I’m allowed to do that, aren’t I?”

He pauses and gives Kakashi a long look until Kakashi nods.

“Yeah, you can sit here and look.”

“That's right! The Third said I can, so you can tell whoever that I’m being good.”

“I’m sure Iruka-sensei will be happy to hear that you’re being good,” Kakashi tells him. “He did ask me to tell you, you better be practicing your throwing or you’ll never beat Sasuke, though. Should I tell him you’ve been practicing?”

Unsurprisingly, Naruto scrambles backwards, wariness becoming fear, but, as Iruka said, he doesn’t run. “How do you know about that? Iruka-sensei’s dead.”

“He is,” Kakashi agrees. “That doesn’t mean he’s gone, though. He’s out in the forest. You can see him if you-”

Naruto’s fists clench, and the fear becomes anger. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I’m not falling for that again!”

“Game?”

“Do you think I’m stupid? I know I’m not allowed outside the village. You’re trying to get me in trouble again. Can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Why would I want to get you in trouble?” Kakashi asks, genuinely curious.

“Why wouldn’t you?” Naruto counters. “I’m a person, you know!”

“Of course you are. If you just calm down a little-”

He tries to placate Naruto, but it only makes him angrier.

“Don’t mess with me,” he growls. Orange chakra gathers around him, the Nine Tails’ inhuman rage seeping free of the seal, and instinct has Kakashi reaching for a kunai.

It’s the wrong thing to do.

The menacing chakra disperses, leaving behind a unhappy boy whose skepticism Kakashi’s just proven right.

“Sorry, ninja-san, but I have to go,” Naruto tells Kakashi’s chin. “It’s dinner time, and there’s a new flavor of instant ramen I want to try. If that’s okay with you?”

He doesn’t wait for Kakashi to respond. He hops off the roof and swings through the open window into his apartment.

Kakashi winces.

_That could have gone worse. He didn’t actually try to take a swing at me. That’s a good sign, right?_

* * *

“Is Naruto confined to the village?”

Kakashi made a formal appointment to speak with Hiruzen. He waited until it was his turn, and he followed all the respectful protocol. He knows his place in the hierarchy. He isn’t looking to make unnecessary waves or be disrespectful to a man he admires.

Hiruzen shakes his head. “No more than any other child. You can take him to Iruka if you want.”

“That was my intention. When I tried to get him to go on his own, he told me that if he goes into the forest, he’ll get in trouble- again.”

He isn’t saying anything Hiruzen doesn’t already know. He can see that, and he’d guessed that would be the case.

“I tried to remind everyone that Naruto isn’t the Nine Tails,” Hiruzen says slowly, “but it seems there are still people taking things into their own hands.”

“I was afraid of that.”

“He’s a lot like Kushina, isn’t he?” Hiruzen asks. “I thought he might be more like Minato. I hoped he would be more like Minato.”

The child on the roof, glaring at the mountain, had little in common with Kakashi’s beloved teacher. Minato had been gentle and warm, careful with his words and thoughtful. Even when he was protecting people, he’d always been firm. He’d never been the type to lash out.

Naruto on the other hand…

“I didn’t know Kushina very well,” Kakashi admits. “She did seem more volatile, but compared to Minato, so do most of us. I told Iruka I’d be gentle with Naruto, Hokage-sama. I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my word.”

“Gentleness can be subjective.”

Kakashi feels his brows shoot up. “I thought you’d agree with Iruka.”

“Iruka loves Naruto. He sees an orphan who needs a parent, as he needed his. He can only see that way of taking care of the boy.”

Nodding, Kakashi thinks back to the way Iruka had looked when he talked about Naruto.

“He’s going to make a lot of noise.”

Hiruzen huffs. “That’s what children do.”

“I didn’t mean Naruto.”

* * *

After a night’s sleep, Kakashi wanders through the village, weighing the benefits of being careful and trying to get Naruto to warm up to him against the benefits of just grabbing the kid and dragging him out to Iruka.

He’s coming down on the side of a charitable kidnapping when he spots a small group of people sitting on the ground just inside the village gate.

They’re all dirty and covered in leaves; a few even have gashes on their faces. Kakashi is so intrigued by the state of them that he almost doesn’t notice that they’re tied together by a rope around their torsos.

A jounin is already standing in front of them.

Kakashi heads over for a closer look.

“Genma-san,” he says cheerfully. “What’s this?”

“A favor,” Genma says around his senbon. “They’re from another village. My guess is, they ran into our friend in the woods while sneaking around.”

“Does he do this often?” Kakashi asks.

Genma shrugs. “Now and then. He usually leaves them hanging in a tree, so we send a chūnin out every morning to check. We found these guys on the ground looking like they got dragged through the woods for a while. They must have really annoyed him.”

None of the roughed up Mist shinobi speaks.

Kakashi wanders around them, taking in their ripped clothes and, as he walks behind them, the stripes of yellow paint on the backs of their necks. “That paint…”

“It’s impossible to get off. We’ve even tried ninjutsu, but nothing works on it. Only that spirit out there knows what’s in it, so even if we wanted to, we couldn’t clean it off.”

“And we don’t want to,” Kakashi finishes.

Nodding, Genma sighs. “Once they’re dry, I’ll take them in. Unless you’d like to?”

“I’m good,” Kakashi says quickly. “Just looking.”

He walks away, but a prickle after the back of his neck tells him he’s being followed.

That’s fine.

* * *

Kakashi follows Naruto around periodically over the next few days, but it becomes so disheartening, he stops.

He can’t watch his teacher’s child be hated. He’s going to lose his temper and make a scene, which he can’t risk.

“How can so many people hate him?” he asks his ceiling at the end of the fourth day. Naruto had tailed him for longer than usual today but still hadn’t made contact. “Even if they don’t know he’s your son, Sensei, he’s still one of our own. He’s supposed to be a weapon for Konoha’s protection. He’s going to hate it instead. I don’t know when, but if nothing changes, he’s going to turn against us. You’d know what to do. You knew how to help me. Can’t you help me help your son?”

There aren’t any answers to be found in the ceiling or from his dead teacher, and Kakashi reluctantly rolls over in hopes of forgetting what he saw so he can sleep.

He‘s relieved when tomorrow comes and he can stop thinking about how long he hasn’t been sleeping.

* * *

Kakashi is carrying groceries home, his thoughts occupied with how he’s going to lie convincingly to Iruka about Naruto not being hated as much as he is and if he should even try, when Naruto himself appears.

“You!”

Naruto is standing a few paces ahead of Kakashi. He’s pointing as if there’s anyone else on the street who isn’t either scowling at him or running away.

“Good morning, Naruto-kun,” Kakashi says. “Have you come to buy groceries as well?”

The look on Naruto’s face stings. Kakashi hadn’t meant to hurt him. Naruto has a complicated relationship with food and his lack of it, but this was sloppy.

What is it about Naruto that throws him so much? Is it just that he’s Minato’s son?

 _No,_ Kakashi decides as Naruto squares his jaw and clenches his fists. _There’s something else about him. He’s so erratic, it’s hard to anticipate him._

That could be a useful skill in a shinobi, if he could do it intentionally.

“Did you want to say something?” Kakashi prompts.

Gathering himself, Naruto nods. “I want to know how you know Iruka-sensei.”

“Well,” Kakashi says thoughtfully, “I’m walking home now. You can ask me as much as you want on the way.”

He starts walking, but he doesn’t even reach Naruto. The kid rushes toward him and doesn’t so much fall into step as trip into step with him.

“Is he okay?” is Naruto’s first question. He looks up at Kakashi with wide, earnest eyes. “He isn’t unhappy, right?”

Kakashi had expected Naruto’s first question to be whether Iruka was angry with him.

_Another surprise._

“He seems happy,” Kakashi offers. “He worries about you, of course, but that’s to be expected.”

They turn a corner and Naruto mumbles something.

Kakashi pretends he can’t understand it. “What was that?”

“I asked why it’s to be expected,” Naruto snaps. If he were a dog, he’d be bristling.

Or, Kakashi thinks, a fox.

“He was your teacher, wasn’t he?”

“So? I’ve had lots of teachers. They didn’t worry about me.”

_He’s really blunt, isn’t he? But he isn’t angry with them. He doesn’t even sound that sad. This is the way of the world for him._

“Well, that’s their failing.”

Naruto looks up at him, and the hope shining in his eyes hurts. His moods are chaotic, but he keeps rebounding to hopeful.

 _He really isn’t much of a monster._ Too loud and ill-mannered, yea, but what monster hangs onto his teacher so tightly?

What monster looks at Kakashi like he’s got the whole world in his hands?

So far as Naruto is concerned, Kakashi probably does.

Adjusting his grip on the grocery bags, Kakashi asks, “Is that all? Or do you have more questions?”

“I heard you talking to that other guy. Does Iruka-sensei really do all that?”

“Apparently. I don’t know him very well.”

Naruto shakes his head. “He always yelled at me when I did stuff like that, you know. He’d make me clean it all up even if it took hours. But he’d usually buy me ramen after, though. He’d ask me stuff, too. It was nice…”

The joy that had been growing on his face fades yet again.

He probably acted out more just to get Iruka’s attention. Free food, company, the attention of a person he likes… That’s a combination that people with far more self-discipline would have difficulty resisting

_I can’t tell if Iruka set that up intentionally or if he was just fueling the cycle._

“So, you like ramen, huh?”

“Yeah! The old man at Ichiraku lets me have some for free sometimes. I liked it better when Iruka-sensei bought it and ate with me, though. He’d walk me home after, even though he was really tired sometimes. He’d come in and help me clean up a little…”

Some of the tension in Kakashi’s chest relaxes. Setting aside Iruka’s less than professional home visits, it’s good to know that there’s someone else looking after Naruto. Even if ramen isn’t ideal, it’s still food. “That’s nice of him. Teuchi’s a good guy, isn’t he?”

“He says I can pay him back when I’m rich,” Naruto explains. “I just don’t know how I’m going to do that. He’s really nice, but I can’t pay him back.”

Naruto sniffles, and Kakashi lets him wipe at his eyes without comment.

They’re getting close to Kakashi’s house. He’s finally making progress with Naruto, and if he could, he’d extend the walk and keep him talking. He felt his clumsy shadow follow him home a few times, though. Naruto will know if Kakashi tries to walk past it.

“Don’t count yourself out just yet,” Kakashi suggests. “You’re still young. Who knows what will happen?”

Naruto shrugs. “I guess. Anyway, thanks for telling me about Iruka-sensei, old man.”

Kakashi gets the feeling that Naruto meant that as a jab.

He shakes it off. This side of Naruto is a good change.

“You could visit him if you wanted to, you know,” Kakashi suggests. “If you’re just going out to say hi, you won’t get in trouble.”

Naruto shakes his head quickly. Suspicion twists his features, but he doesn’t accuse Kakashi of trying to start trouble again. “Maybe. I can’t do it now, though. I’ve gotta go make lunch. Thanks again!”

He runs off, and for the first time, Kakashi watches him and feels hopeful.

* * *

It’s a little after dawn and Kakashi is waiting by the gate for Guy. He promised to train with him, and he’s decided it’s time to stop dodging Iruka.

Being on time for something he could arrive late to feels strange, but Kakashi is doing all sorts of new things these days.

He’s been imprinted on by Konoha’s most dangerous duckling, for one, so Kakashi has been eating out in the hopes of convincing Naruto to come over and sit with him.

No luck so far, but he’s gotten enough of Naruto’s attention that he tabled the idea of bodily dragging him out to see Iruka.

“Kakashi-san!” Naruto shouts, running over.

The sheer volume nearly sends Kakashi flying out of his skin, but Naruto doesn’t notice. He comes to a stop in front of Kakashi. He’s so excited he’s almost vibrating. “Hey, hey! You’re going into the forest, right?”

“Yep! You want me to get you something?” Kakashi asks.

“Could you tell Iruka-sensei I’m okay? So he knows he shouldn’t worry?”

“He’d rather hear it from you, I’m sure, but if you’re that set on staying in the village, yeah, I’ll tell him.”

Naruto nods quickly. “Thanks!”

He runs off without letting Kakashi respond.

“That boy sure likes you, doesn’t he?” Guy asks.

Typical Guy, arriving while Kakashi is trying to parse something delicate.

“Let’s go,” Kakashi says, dodging Guy’s poorly hidden trap. He isn’t about to open up to anyone at this hour. “Or are you going to give up before we start?”

As expected, Guy shouts so loudly Kakashi regrets egging him on.

“Let’s go, Kakashi!”

“I’m right here, Guy…”

* * *

“Do you see Naruto often?”

They’re taking a break, and now that they aren’t throwing things at each other, Kakashi can indulge his curiosity.

Guy shakes his head. “No, he doesn’t come into places with a lot of people. And who could blame him?”

So Guy noticed how Naruto lives before Kakashi had…

“Have you tried to get close to him?”

“I have. He seemed to get more stressed out by me than reassured.” Guy’s brows pinch together. “I don’t know why.”

Even Naruto recognized and knew to avoid the danger of getting involved with Guy, Kakashi thinks wryly.

The truth is disheartening even for something in Naruto’s life. Naruto wouldn’t get hurt, exactly, and it seems counterintuitive, but Kakashi is sure that even for a kid as loud as Naruto, Guy’s constant shouting would be a source of concern.

It’s difficult for Kakashi sometimes, and he’s been friends with Guy for so long, he sometimes gets spooked by silence.

He isn’t sure how it happened, but when he wasn’t looking, Guy became a cornerstone of Kakashi’s life. There’s no one he’d want to have his back than Guy. He doesn’t trust anyone with his safety when he’s exhausted and vulnerable as fully as he trusts Guy. He even enjoys Guy’s energy. Shinobi are prone to wallowing, Kakashi included, but Kakashi can’t dwell on the past when Guy is shouting challenges at him.

“It’s a mystery,” Kakashi says. “Naruto lives by his own rules.”

“He does. He seems to have taken to you, though.” Guy grins so smugly that Kakashi wants to hit him.

“He doesn’t have anyone else. He’s never had an adult in his life who cared about him other than Iruka.”

“All the more reason to cherish him.”

Narrowing his eyes, Kakashi glares at Guy. “What are you trying to say, Guy?”

Rather than reply like a normal person, Guy throws an elbow at Kakashi.

“If you want to know, you’ll have to beat me!”

* * *

Neither of them wins. Kakashi forgets where they are and, in a moment of distraction, sets off one of Iruka’s traps. Guy, who’s hot on his tail, can’t stop in time, and the two of them wind up getting absorbed by a cloud of something that smells rank.

Gagging even through his mask, Kakashi’s eyes water as he struggles to blink tears from his eyes.

Next to him, Guy isn’t faring any better.

And the smell is only getting worse.

Kakashi’s fallen to his knees, the scent so overpowering he can barely breathe, when the cloud disappears.

He gulps down the fresh air in relief. He doesn’t mind the tears that keep flowing down his face. The smell is gone, and he can breathe again.

A little off to the side, he hears Guy draw a deep breath

By virtue of being Guy, Guy speaks first.

“Iruka-san,” he gasps, “that was cruel!”

Kakashi pushes himself over and flops onto his back so he can face Iruka, who must have been the one who took care of the trap.

“I didn’t actually think anyone would set that one off during the day,” Iruka says. He looks between them with a look of concern. “Are you sure you’re really jounin? I’ve seen genin avoid that.”

“We were in the heat of battle!” Guy protests. “And I finally had Kakashi on the defensive.”

“No, you didn’t. I was leading you to a break in the trees where I was going to end this.” Kakashi makes the mistake of trying to breathe through his nose and starts coughing again.

As if he thought this, too, was a suitable challenge Guy does the same and winds up coughing and tearing up again.

With a look of great patience, Iruka pulls a vial out of one of his pockets. He walks over ar Guy first, who’s closer, uncorks the vial, and holds it under his nose.

“In through your nose, then out through your mouth,” he instructs.

Guy does as he’s bid, and his cough disappears.

“Oh! That’s a miracle, Iruka-san.”

Iruka shakes his head as he heads for Kakashi. “I usually have a way to undo the effects of my traps. It’s your turn now, Kakashi-san.”

Kakashi does as he’s bid, and the smell disappears.

“It won’t work on your clothes, I’m afraid,” Iruka tells them. “Soak them in tomato juice for at least two days. The flak jackets will have to air out for a week, if not longer.”

“Between this and the paint, I’m not going to have any clothes left,” Kakashi says with a sigh.

Iruka dips his head. “Sorry, Kakashi-san. I really did think that formulation of paint would come out.”

Kakashi shrugs it off. “I don’t mind. Besides, I told you I’d let you know, didn’t I?”

“You did.”

Iruka smiles at him, and Kakashi is forcefully reminded of how bright it is.

When was the last time someone smiled at him like that? People don’t tend to smile at him. It’s just Iruka, Hiruzen, Guy, and, somehow, Naruto. Maybe Asuma and Kurenai, but that’s usually just to tease him. Hiruzen looks at Kakashi like a father might. Guy… Guy is in his own class.

Naruto looks at Kakashi like he thinks Kakashi is some kind of hero. He’ll learn better, which will hurt, but for now, he seems to think Kakashi is someone amazing.

Iruka’s smile doesn’t have any layers. He’s happy, so he’s smiling.

There’s no underneath to see underneath. There’s just Iruka.

“As fun as this was,” Guy interrupts, “I promised my team I’d be back in time for training before noon, and unlike some jounin, I arrive in a timely fashion.”

“There are a lot of old women who need my help, Guy,” Kakashi complains. “Try not to set anything else off on the way back, will you? I have to talk with Iruka-san, and I don’t want to have to stop so he can save you from yourself.”

Guy opens his mouth, an argument at the ready, but Iruka beats him to it.

“I’ll disarm them until I feel you leave the forest.”

“You can do that?”

“Of course. I made them, didn’t I?”

“You’re full of surprises!” Guy exclaims, a threat in his delighted shout.

He’s going to demand Iruka make use of this skill in training.

With a final warning to Kakashi that they’ll continue this another time, Guy runs off.

Iruka sighs. “He’s so energetic. Just like-” He clears his throat, visibly swallowing Naruto’s name. “You said you wanted to talk with me.”

Reminded of his other reason for leaving the village, Kakashi sits up. “Naruto asked me to tell you he’s doing well so you shouldn't worry.”

“So he’s even more unhappy than I’d thought,” Iruka says, expression falling.

“How do you know?”

“When he’s happy, Naruto doesn’t stop talking until you make him. If he’d had a laundry list of things for you to tell me and a ridiculous amount of little observations, I might have thought he was doing all right. What he told you is the equivalent of staring at the ground and saying nothing.” Sighing heavily, Iruka drops down next to Kakashi. “Thank you looking in on him.”

“You remember the man who owns Ichiraku?” Kakashi asks. He isn’t very good at reassuring people, but he can try.

“Teuchi? I do, yeah.”

“He feeds Naruto sometimes. He says Naruto can pay him back when he gets rich.”

“That’s a relief,” Iruka says. “He and his daughter were kind to me when I was having trouble after my parents died. I'm not surprised they're still looking after Naruto. He's probably worried about being able to pay them back now that I’m not picking up his tab, though.”

Kakashi nods. “I can’t tell if he’s more sensitive or resilient.”

Chuckling, Iruka drops onto his back. “That’s the mystery that is Uzumaki Naruto. He takes everything in. The good, the bad, the things he shouldn’t even know about… It all goes into his heart. But he was made to be happy, I think.”

“Did it take you long to forgive him?”

“I never had to. But if you’re asking me how long it took for me to stop feeling my parents’ deaths whenever I saw him… Probably about two days.” Iruka shakes his head. “Naruto is hard not to warm to. Whatever troubles I have, they've got nothing to do with him."

That’s more or less what Kakashi had expected Iruka to say.

“I’m trying to convince him to come visit you, but he thinks he’ll get in trouble if he comes out here. I got the feeling he wasn’t thinking about Mizuki when he said it.”

“He’s an easy target for bullies, and too many of them are adults. Someone probably deliberately got him in trouble. He isn’t the smartest kid, but he does learn, Kakashi-san.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.” Kakashi rubs his chin thoughtfully. “Do you think you could come to the edge of the forest at some point? If he saw you, he might be willing to come over.”

“Of course I could! Even if he didn’t want to see me, I would. It’s selfish, but I’ve missed him.”

Kakashi nods; he’s coming to see how Naruto won Iruka over so completely. “I’ve never met anyone like him, that’s for sure.”

“You have no idea. He isn’t attending the Academy anymore, is he?”

“He isn’t. I’m not sure if that was his choice or not.”

Iruka scratches his cheek. “It probably doesn’t matter, but…”

“But?” Kakashi prompts.

“You’ve already done so much. I don’t want to impose on you further...”

“But?” Kakashi prompts again.

“Could I ask you to do something else, Kakashi-san? For Naruto and for me."

“Yes, as long as you don’t ask so formally like you did last time.”

Iruka smiles that happy smile again, and Kakashi catches himself thinking he’d like Iruka to keep looking at him like that.

* * *

“This is for you,” Kakashi tells Naruto, patting a box. They’re sitting on a bench, the box in between them. It’s only been a few days since Kakashi spoke with Iruka, but Naruto has moved onto openly following Kakashi around. He doesn’t sidle away at any unexpected move on Kakashi's part.

_He may regret that soon._

“Iruka left it for you,” Kakashi explains as Naruto peers at the box. “It was supposed to go to you right after his death, but for some reason, it didn’t.”

Kakashi can guess what the reason is. It goes hand in hand with the reason he had to threaten to bring Hiruzen himself to the office to get the box Iruka had sent Kakashi to make sure Naruto had been given.

Unlike Kakashi, who'd neatly dealt with his early inheritance quickly, Naruto doesn’t touch the box or anything in it. There isn’t much: a few pictures, some framed and some not; an envelope with Naruto's name on it; a few little keepsakes- the usual things people leave behind.

Kakashi got far more when his father died, but none of it came to him like this. Except the house itself and the contents of one bedroom, everything had already been his. He’d only had to choose what to keep.

He doesn’t know how to handle this. Iruka’s bequests are completely different. They aren’t pieces of a house that was already Naruto’s. They aren’t things just anyone might want. Everything has sentimental value; only Naruto would have any attachment to any of it.

From the way he's wiping at his face, there's more than a little attachment.

Between attempts at hiding his tears. Naruto’s balled fists rest on his knees.

Kakashi pulls out a handkerchief and holds it out to him.

Naruto accepts it with a wet “thank you”. He wipes at his eyes, the tears flowing freely as he looks over the contents of his inheritance.

“There are a few other things,” Kakashi tells him. He already wishes this were over, but one of them has to hold it together. “The first is this.”

He pulls the letter out of his pocket. It has Naruto’s full name on the envelope, the characters written in small, precise handwriting.

Naruto accepts it, too. He doesn’t open it, just holds it in shaking hands.

“I’m supposed to make sure you read that before I continue,” Kakashi tells him, trying his best to be gentle.

Naruto just stares at his hands.

Kakashi swallows the discomfort rising in his throat. “Do you want me to read it to you?”

Naruto nods.

He hands the envelope back, head bowed, and Kakashi recognizes the gesture as one he must have learned from Iruka. It’s too humble for Naruto to have picked up and practiced it on his own.

Kakashi opens the unsealed envelope smoothly and clears his throat.

> _Naruto,_
> 
> _Hopefully, you’re an old man when you get this. Knowing the lives of shinobi, even ones who teach in the Academy, that probably won’t be the case._

Naruto makes a sound Kakashi wants to forget as soon as he hears, but he knows in his gut he'll never be that lucky.

> _I don’t have any blood relatives, so I’m going to have to ask you to look after my belongings. Forgive me for that if you can._
> 
> _Other than the little box you should already have and this letter, there are a couple more things for you. The first probably won’t be very interesting since you hopefully already have your own, but I’d like you to have it. It belonged to my father, then became mine when I was ready for it. I always intended to hand it down to my children, but without any by blood, I'm going to ask you to carry on my family’s legacy._
> 
> _You're still my student as I put this together. I know you'll earn your own when you’re ready, but I think my father would like the idea of our family being in your care._
> 
> _Your homeroom teacher,_
> 
> _Umino Iruka_
> 
> _One last thing- nobody gets intimidated by a ninja in wrinkled clothes, so remember to fold your laundry properly!_

Kakashi doesn’t check Naruto’s expression before he pulls the second gift from the bag it’s been waiting in. The blue cloth is old, but it’s been well cared for. The worn metal plate catches the sunlight as he lays the headband on top of the card and holds both out to Naruto.

He has to keep holding them for a while as Naruto stares at them, tears silently pouring down his face.

People are staring at them, some in annoyance and some with venom. Kakashi refuses to acknowledge any of them. They don’t need him. The village will survive if Kakashi looks after Naruto instead of the people around them for a moment.

“Your teacher sure has a lot of faith in you, doesn’t he?” he asks gently.

An awful sound scrapes its way out of Naruto’s throat. “Iruka-sensei… He really wrote that? I really get to have all this?”

“He did.”

Sensing that Naruto will regret it later if he touches the letter with his tear-wet hands, Kakashi lays it down in the box so he can press the headband into Naruto’s hands.

“The Academy won’t let me go back,” Naruto rasps. His fingers curl around it anyway. “Even if Iruka-sensei gives me this, they won’t let me graduate.”

“Did they tell you that?” Kakashi asks carefully. “Someone told you they’d never let you pass?”

Naruto shrugs. “They didn’t have to. They liked Iruka-sensei, and I got him killed, so-”

Kakashi lays his hand on the top of Naruto’s head. It’s going to be a pain to get this sorted out, but that’s what he’ll do. He will be reasonable about it. He’ll do things the way they’re supposed to be done. Iruka can raise his voice for Naruto; Kakashi can quietly ensure Konoha listens. “You really should speak to Iruka yourself, you know. He has a lot of things he still wants to tell you.”

Naruto nods; he still isn’t ready to talk.

The next part isn’t going to help with that.

“His last gift is this.” Reaching into the bag one last time, Kakashi pulls free the last of Iruka’s bequests. 

“Another letter?”

“Sort of. It’s copies of some legal things he took care of before he died.” Naruto looks at him blankly, and Kakashi wishes someone else, someone kind, were doing this instead of him. “Iruka formally named you his heir. His sole heir. Do you understand what that means, Naruto?"

He must, but Naruto shakes his head. "No?"

"It means Iruka left everything to you. Not just these things.”

Naruto blinks at him. “He- But-”

“But you aren’t his family?” Kakashi asks.

Naruto nods.

“Your teacher understood that family means more than blood," Kakashi tells him as kindly as he knows how to be. "He didn’t care about names or which family’s register you’re on; if he had, he wouldn’t have passed his father’s headband on to you. He cared about you and chose to leave things for you. Don’t cheapen that by saying he should only care about blood.”

Tears are still pouring down his face as Naruto looks up at Kakashi and asks, “He really picked me? Didn’t he want to give it somebody else first?”

Abandoning the pretense of keeping neutral, Kakashi unfolds the papers and flips to the page Iruka told him about. “Here,” he says, more urgent than he knows how to handle, pointing to the sentence Iruka was adamant that Naruto see. “Iruka was very clear. Everything of his was to go to one specific person- you, Uzumaki Naruto of Konoha. There aren’t any other names. Everything he had, he left to you."

Kakashi doesn’t tell him that Iruka had also left the names of people who were supposed to look after his belongings and use them to help Naruto until he reached adulthood and it all became his. To do that would invite questions of who they were and why they didn’t look after him.

Kakashi can handle those questions on his own. Naruto doesn’t need to concern himself with them.

At Naruto’s age, Kakashi was already a weapon. He’d learned to keep his emotions quiet. He didn’t make scenes or throw fits. His father was an embarrassment, and Kakashi had learned to be ruthless.

Years have passed since then, though. Kakashi met Obito, Rin, and Minato. He found Tenzō and watched him find a better home than Root.

He’s seen too many children like himself, and he doesn’t resent Naruto for collapsing into helpless screams.

His anger is aimed elsewhere.

* * *

Once Naruto has calmed down, Kakashi helps him move into his new apartment. It’s nothing special, but it’s bigger and nicer than Naruto’s apartment. Iruka didn’t do much decorating, which Kakashi takes as a blessing. The few photos there are, are of a couple that must be Iruka’s parents, a couple class photos, and one of Iruka and Naruto at Ichiraku.

“I gave him that,” Naruto says, stopping in the middle of the kitchen. He points at a deformed shuriken hanging on the fridge. “It’s the first one I threw and hit the target perfectly. He yelled at me for bending it like that when I pulled it out and made me stay after to help him clean up. I told him to keep it, but I didn’t think he actually did.”

His voice catches, and Kakashi lays a hand on his shoulder. Naruto’s on the path to becoming a ninja. He needs to learn how to stop himself from getting so caught up in his emotions.

_He can cry for now. The whole world just changed. It’s not as if anyone is relying on him to be calm._

They find a shopping list with two circles around the word _milk_ with an underlined _\+ 2 extra cartons for Naruto_ on the table.

Naruto looks away sharply. Kakashi’s only acknowledgement that he’s crying is handing him the handkerchief again.

They take a break, as they have every few minutes since they got here.

“You didn’t come here often, did you, Naruto?”

Naruto shrugs. “I thought he’d get tired of me.”

Naruto doesn’t expand on that fear, just stares at the photo of himself next to Iruka. When Kakashi tugs in his arm, he nods robotically and pushes on.

* * *

Kakashi sets Naruto up in a small, mostly empty room that can almost be a bedroom if they squint. They haven’t opened the door to Iruka’s bedroom, and neither of them is eager to change that.

Naruto seems to be out of tears to cry now.

He found a game hidden in one of the cabinets and dropped it on the floor. From what Kakashi’s been able to piece together, it was something Naruto had wanted for his last birthday- the one Iruka missed.

Kakashi doesn’t tell him about the papers Iruka had told him would be on the table and asked him to hide before he brought Naruto his inheritance. 

_He was going to ask if you’d let him adopt you,_ Kakashi doesn’t say. _This isn’t a spare room that happens to be shaped a little like a bedroom. He wanted it to be your room._

Iruka didn’t mention anything about it, but Kakashi knows instinctively that Iruka left the room deliberately blank so Naruto could decorate it.

Kakashi has saved Konoha from more than one calamity, but standing here, in the wreckage of a family that could have been but won’t ever be, all those victories feel empty.

“You’re going to go see Iruka,” he tells Naruto firmly once they’ve moved all his things in. “You can go tonight or you can go tomorrow, but this-”

“Now.” Naruto looks up at Kakashi, and despite the misery on his face, he lifts his chin. “I want to see him now.”

Kakashi nods. “Let’s go see him then.”

* * *

They walk to the edge of the woods together. Kakashi nods at the guards as he walks Naruto through the gate with a hand on his shoulder.

“Iruka-san!” Kakashi calls. “Someone would like to say hello.”

Iruka materializes at the edge of the trees immediately. His eyes go wide when he spots Kakashi’s companion. “Naruto?”

Naruto swallows audibly.

Slowly, Iruka’s mouth stretches into a wide smile so warm Kakashi loses himself in it for a moment.

“Did you get taller?” Iruka asks, his voice catching but not breaking. “You look taller.”

Naruto stares at him, frozen.

Iruka ducks his head. “I’m sorry, Naruto. I should have-”

Shifting from frozen to sprinting full throttle in a heartbeat, Naruto launches himself at Iruka, barreling right into him; he doesn’t even try to slow himself down.

Iruka laughs as he stumbles back and returns the crushing hug Naruto has him in. His smile softens, his eyes already shining with unshed tears. “You really did grow. You’re going to be taller than me soon, aren't you?”

Naruto’s response doesn’t make it to Kakashi. His face is buried in Iruka’s chest.

“I missed you, too.” Petting Naruto’s head, Iruka asks, “Kakashi gave you my things, right? I’m sorry to leave them all to you like that.”

Naruto’s choked cry of Iruka’s name makes Kakashi’s stomach twist uncomfortably.

He turns around, letting them have their reunion. He’d prefer not to intrude at all, but he’s concerned that someone might try to make trouble for Naruto if he doesn’t stay.

Iruka’s voice floats to him.

“I saw you stop Mizuki,” he says gently. “You really did learn that technique. All those clones… I wanted to tell you that was more than enough. I wanted to tell you that you passed.”

“Is that why you gave me your dad’s headband?”

“No, that was already yours.”

Naruto’s choked sob echoes in the open air.

“I’m sorry, Sensei,” he says, voice rough. “Because of me, you-”

“Nothing was _because of_ you, idiot. It was _for_ you. I had a choice, and I chose you. It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

“But-”

“No buts! It was my choice to get between you and Mizuki, and I stand by it. I won’t let anyone tell me it wasn’t the right thing to do, not even you.”

Naruto protests, but the words don’t reach Kakashi.

Iruka makes a soothing noise. “Fine, fine. If you need a punishment, then I’ll give you the worst one I have- live. Find your own nindō and follow it. Grab the happiness I know you deserve.” Voice lowering, Iruka continues, “And remember to visit your teacher sometimes, okay? Even though it’s inconvenient.”

Naruto wails, and Kakashi makes the mistake of looking over at them.

He can’t see Naruto’s face where it’s buried in Iruka’s chest, and he’s glad. Iruka looks heartbroken enough for both of them.

A few shinobi come to see what the noise is. Kakashi waves them away; there’s no danger here. Any damage has already been done.

* * *

“We’ll never find out the names of everyone who convinced Naruto he wasn’t wanted,” Hiruzen says around his pipe, “but I'll see to it that with a little tutoring, he can take the test again and graduate.”

“Tutoring from Iruka?” Kakashi asks.

Hiruzen nods. “With that, you’ve completed your unofficial task. It’s time to move on. You’ve been in the village for too long. There are missions Konoha needs you to take. Too many have sat incomplete, waiting for the matter of Naruto’s future to be settled.”

Kakashi nods.

“You leave tonight for the first one.”

That easily, Kakashi returns to work.

* * *

On his way home, just outside Konoha, something flies at Kakashi’s back. He turns around with a kunai in hand, blocking the projectile.

It explodes on contact, coating him in something thick and sticky.

“Be more respectful next time!” Iruka yells from the trees. He doesn’t make himself visible, but he doesn’t have to. Kakashi can feel his presence at the edge of the woods. “This is my home, you know!”

“Sorry for intruding, Iruka-san,” Kakashi calls, suitably chastened.

“Thank you. And you will continue to be after scraping all of that off.”

Kakashi can’t help the whine that slips out. “You really won’t help me?”

“Nope! You could try asking Kotetsu, though.”

Iruka’s voice disappears before Kakashi can push for more information.

He’s saved from the task of searching for Kotetsu, at least. The man is already waiting for him just inside the village.

“You’re the second one today,” he tells Kakashi. “Our prankster has been in a mood for a while.”

“How do I get it off?” Kakashi asks. Whatever Iruka hit him with is beginning to harden.

Kotetsu gives him a pitying look. “There’s a place with sulfur baths a few miles out. That’s the only way we’ve found to take it off. As usual, chakra doesn’t have any effect on his handiwork.”

Sighing, Kakashi thanks Kotetsu and reluctantly makes his way to the hokage’s tower to report the details of his S-rank mission before he asks for a few days off to visit an onsen.

* * *

Halfway through, Kakashi finds out that the substance he’s coated in has another layer of punishment.

Hiruzen wrinkles his nose. “Kakashi,” he says, a question and a reprimand at once.

Kakashi’s face heats. “I’m very sorry, Hokage-sama. If it weren’t S-rank, I wouldn’t have come.”

“I’m more concerned about the number of jounin Iruka’s managed to catch this way.” Hiruzen shakes his head before glancing out the window toward the forest. “Try to apologize to him on your way to the onsen.”

Nodding, Kakashi bows and makes a hasty exit.

* * *

“Iruka-san!” Kakashi calls. He’s a few steps outside the forest. That’s well within Iruka’s reach, but he isn’t leaving the distance out of self-preservation.

Iruka doesn’t answer, and despite knowing Iruka has to be in the forest, Kakashi feels a wave of self-consciousness.

_“Try not to pass out in my forest, okay?” I should have realized._

“I’m sorry for not asking permission earlier,” Kakashi adds when minutes pass and Iruka hasn’t responded. “I’ll remember next time.”

Iruka doesn’t deign to acknowledge him, and Kakashi resigns himself to a rough future.

* * *

Naruto is waiting outside Kakashi’s door. He casts a critical eye over Kakashi’s still-sticky body, assessing the damage.

“Did Iruka come up with that trick on his own or did you help?” Kakashi asks. He already knows the answer, but he may as well get Naruto talking.

“I helped.” 

“Of course you did. I hope it was worth it. I was going to have a few days in Konoha, but now I have to travel to one of the bathhouses so I can get clean.”

Nodding sagely, Naruto follows Kakashi into his apartment. “He’s just lonely, you know. Everybody runs through the forest, but they never stop and say hi.”

“He told you that, did he?”

“It’s not like it’s that hard to figure out. People walk past me like I‘m there all the time.” Naruto scuffs his foot on the floor. “But you know, I’m just a kid. Iruka-sensei’s out there helping Konoha. At least ancestors have shrines so people can remember them. Who’s going to remember Iruka-sensei?”

Kakashi pauses in the middle of pouring himself a glass of water. Naruto being just a kid is more reason to condemn Konoha’s indifference to him, not less. He shouldn’t be unsupervised so often, and he never should have lived so close to the red light district.

Even with the things Iruka left him, Naruto is still a child in an adult’s life.

He’s Minato and Kushina’s son. If Kakashi had to face his teacher now and answer for the way Naruto’s been living, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t look Minato in the eye and admit he’s left Naruto to languish on his own.

But ask Naruto who’s suffering and he’ll say Iruka. He’s miserable, but the indignation Kakashi’s facing isn’t for Naruto’s own sake.

Setting aside the water, Kakashi waves Naruto over.

Naruto doesn’t come, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“I’m not going to get you sticky,” Kakashi tells him.

Unconvinced, Naruto does take a few hesitant steps closer.

_Good enough._

“I’ll apologize to Iruka when I leave for the bathhouse, okay? And I’ll mention to the others that they should be more gracious to him for his hard work.”

“Okay.”

Kakashi sighs. That may as well have been a “no”. “You really aren’t good at being diplomatic, are you? Go on. Tell me where I’m wrong.”

“They should be nicer to him because he’s there. So what if he’s helpful? Even if he just lived out there, they should still acknowledge him.”

Naruto glares at him.

Kakashi saga against a chair. “You really care about your teacher, huh?”

“He was the first person who thought I was good for something,” Naruto says with a crisp nod. “Everybody else looks down on me, but Iruka-sensei bought me ramen. He even- With Mizuki-sensei, he- I won’t forget him, and I’ll make sure Konoha doesn’t either.”

It’s a good sentiment, but knowing Naruto, that means he’s going to kick up a fuss, which will only make the situation more tense.

Kakashi reaches forward and taps Naruto’s forehead with two clean fingers. “All right, you’ve convinced me. I’ll get Iruka recognized, okay? But you have to promise to let me do it.”

Naruto drops his hands, and for a moment, his chakra isn’t his. “You better not be lying, Kakashi-sensei.”

“I’m not! I have to leave now, though, so it’s time for annoying kids to go home.”

“Okay, but I won’t forget what you said!” Naruto promises as he jogs out of Kakashi’s apartment, his chakra his once more.

_There he is, Sensei. This is the son you would have raised if you’d lived._

* * *

“Iruka-san, sorry for intruding without asking earlier. I’d like to pass through again. Is that all right?”

Kakashi can feel Izumo and Kotetsu watching him curiously.

Kakashi doesn’t acknowledge them. The fastest way to tell people is through gossip.

Iruka materializes in front of Kakashi. He looks annoyed, but he lets Kakashi speak.

“The hokage asked you to apologize, didn’t he?”

“He did.”

“What’s with the rest of that greeting, then?”

“Naruto pointed out that we’ve been rude to you,” Kakashi explains. “I thought I should be more courteous.”

Iruka’s face flushes as Kakashi bows, but he doesn’t stutter as he says, “Thank you, Kakashi-san. Have a safe journey.”

Kakashi throws him a lazy salute. “See you.”

* * *

Freshly bathed, Kakashi comes to a stop outside the forest.

“Iruka-san, may I pass?”

Iruka himself doesn’t appear, but the trees and undergrowth part in front of him, forming a small path.

“Thank you.”

* * *

It continues like this for a while, and word begins to spread- say hello, ask for his understanding, and thank him, and the spirit in the forest won’t go out of his way to make trouble for you.

Even more, if you offer to talk with him, he might have some helpful knowledge to impart.

It isn’t quite what Naruto wanted, but it’s something.

* * *

Kakashi is returning from an A-Rank mission just before dawn when he hears someone crying.

Certain he recognizes the voice, Kakashi follows the sound until he comes to a small clearing.

Naruto and Iruka are kneeling on the ground. Iruka’s arms are wrapped tightly around Naruto, whose face is pressed to Iruka’s shoulder as he cries.

“Nothing that happened was your fault,” Iruka is saying. He tilts his head, laying it against Naruto’s. “Being the Nine Tails’ jinchuuriki isn’t your fault, and my death isn’t either.”

“But!” Naruto argues. 

It must hurt to have that yelled in his ear, but Iruka doesn’t flinch. “I protected you from the shuriken, but you still got hurt, didn’t you?” He rubs Naruto’s back. “I really didn’t want to die in front of you like that. I’m sorry, Naruto. You deserved a stronger teacher.”

Naruto still hasn’t stopped crying; he’s begun to shake, and Kakashi can only imagine how hard he’s squeezing Iruka’s neck.

Iruka strokes Naruto’s head. “Thank you for watching over my body. I was able to become like this because I had such a good student.”

“Don’t lie to me, Sensei. You’re a ghost because you’re unhappy.”

“Idiot, why would I lie? You think the ancestors in our altars are all unhappy?” He shakes his head. “It’s true that there are angry ghosts, but I had no regrets. You survived. The scroll was safe. I was happy.” Naruto shakes his head, only getting more upset, and Iruka makes a soft, calming noise. “You did a good job. I didn’t leave you alone. Even if you couldn’t feel me, I was with you.”

“Wasn’t I?” Naruto pulls away sharply. “I couldn’t hear you. I couldn’t see you. I _was_ alone! Why'd you leave, Sensei? I wanted to graduate and get ramen with you! What do I do now? Nobody cares what I do.”

“That isn’t true. Kakashi-san cares. Teuchi and Ayame care-”

“I don’t want them! And I don’t want your apartment. I want my teacher!”

“Naruto…”

Naruto scrambles away, his face turned to the ground. “You’re the worst, Sensei. At least none of the other teachers pretended to care.”

Iruka reaches for him, but Naruto dodges him. He gets to his feet unsteadily. Eyes wide and shining, he turns and flees.

Around him, the Nine Tails’ chakra is glowing.

Iruka gets to his feet as well. “Naruto!”

“Leave him alone, Iruka,” Kakashi advises. “He needs space to be angry.”

“With all due respect,” Iruka says tightly, “I think that boy has been left alone for long enough.”

He takes off after Naruto.

Kakashi weighs the danger of the situation. He should let Hiruzen know, in case he doesn’t already. A sealing team should be readied to suppress the demon’s chakra by force.

Instead, he tracks Naruto and Iruka through the woods, following the obvious trail Naruto left until he finds the two of them for the second time.

There’s a cold wind blowing through the trees as he settles on a branch and waits to see what direction this other wind will blow.

“Do you want me to go?” Iruka asks. He’s standing a few yards away from where Naruto’s huddled against the steep rise of a tall cliff. “I will if that’s what you want.”

Naruto doesn’t answer.

“I can stand here if you want me to. I’m not human. I can stay awake all night and keep you company if that’s what you want.”

The inhuman chakra is still glowing around Naruto. Kakashi tenses; if anything, Naruto has gotten worse. His fingernails have sharpened into claws; the marks on his face are starker. His face is turned away, but Kakashi knows his eyes are glowing red.

“You were supposed to get mad.”

“At you?” Iruka asks.

Naruto nods. “You were supposed to be like everybody else and not care. You were supposed to wait until I saved the village to like me. So why…”

“Why didn’t I need you to be a hero?”

Naruto nods again. He looks up at Iruka.

“I’d like to think I’m not that shallow.” Iruka scratches his cheek, and a rueful look crosses his face. “Maybe it’s because I wasn’t very strong, but I always thought a person’s life has value because they exist, not because they do great things. I think you already know that. That’s why you get so angry; you know you aren’t less than the rest of us. So when people treat you like you are, you make noise.”

“But you didn’t know that at first.”

“No, I didn’t, but I was lucky enough to be your teacher. I got to spend time with you and get to know you. Everything I told Mizuki was true.” His voice softens as he adds, “You could fail every graduation exam for the rest of your life and I would still want to eat ramen with you.”

Kakashi’s racing heartbeat slows as the Nine Tails’ chakra fades slightly.

“It’s time for you to go back to the village, Naruto.”

Immediately, Naruto’s anger flares, and the Nine Tails’ chakra burns brighter. “I don’t want to go back! Everybody hates me there. I want to stay with you.”

“What, you think I want you to leave? Weren’t you listening?” Iruka shakes his head. “It’s dangerous out here for you. You’ll be safer in Konoha.”

“Yeah, in another apartment where I’m alone.”

Iruka nods. “In Konoha, you can take the test again, and you’ll pass it. Out here, you’ll never become a ninja. It’s your dream to surpass every other hokage, isn’t it?”

He’s made a good point, and Naruto knows it.

“Do I have to leave right now?” Naruto asks.

“Is there something else you want to do?”

Naruto gets to his feet with a nod and slowly walks over to Iruka. The hug he pulls Iruka into isn’t as rough as Kakashi had thought it would be.

“You’re going to be happy again,” Iruka promises.

The Nine Tails’ chakra evaporates as he curls his arms around Naruto’s shoulders.

“You can’t know that.”

Iruka chuckles. “Sure I can. You’ve got a happy heart, Naruto. You just weren’t made for sorrow.”

Naruto grumbles weakly, and Kakashi watches him lean harder and harder on Iruka.

_He really fell asleep on his feet._

“Kakashi-san, if you could?” Iruka asks, smoothly scooping Naruto into his arms and lifting him up. “I can’t bring him home.”

Caught, Kakashi hops down.

“He’s out cold, isn’t he?”

Iruka nods, but his attention is on Naruto. “He’s always a deep sleeper, but after he gets worked up like this, he may as well be the dead one.” His mouth quirks in a half-hearted smile. “It’s silly, but I miss him already.”

There’s no adequate reply, so Kakashi doesn’t try to find one. He lifts Naruto out of Iruka’s arms and body flickers them home.

* * *

Naruto’s graduation has two witnesses- Daikoku, who gave him the test as his last minute teacher, and Kakashi.

Iruka’s absence is glaring. Daikoku and Kakashi exchange knowing looks. It should be Iruka presenting Naruto with this rite of passage.

Naruto manages to be polite, but the moment he’s free, he takes off at full tilt.

Kakashi follows him out of habit. There are still whispers from people whose troublemaking isn’t as harmless as Iruka and Naruto’s. Kakashi can’t stop their voices from reaching Naruto, but he can keep being a buffer.

He watches Naruto show Iruka the headband and forehead protector he finally earned. Iruka fusses over him and recites a list of admonitions so long and specific they can’t be real until Naruto yells at him to stop ruining the moment.

Iruka laughs at him, as proud as any father, and doesn’t stop laughing until Naruto stomps over to a nearby tree and deliberately sets off one of Iruka’s traps. He ducks in time to avoid the spray, but Iruka, who’s wiping at his eyes, catches it squarely.

Kakashi can’t help but laugh along as Naruto howls with delight at the sight of Iruka stunned and covered in glitter.

* * *

When Kakashi collects Naruto and his teammates, he can’t help but notice that the cloth around Naruto’s forehead is worn and the metal no longer smooth.

Naruto keeps fidgeting with it, and Kakashi wonders how he’s going to tell Iruka that after all of this, Kakashi is going to send Naruto back to the Academy.

* * *

Perhaps it’s unfair to punish Naruto so harshly for trying to eat the lunches when Kakashi knows he’s been underfed for far longer than Sakura and Sasuke. It won’t help anyone to be softer on him, though, and Naruto wouldn’t benefit from having his unbroken habits of spending as little as possible on food brought to light.

So Kakashi ties him up and tells Sakura and Sasuke not to feed him.

He wonders how he’ll explain this to Iruka, too.

* * *

Team 7 passes.

Sakura and Sasuke both share their food with Naruto. The team that should have broken down the fastest rallies around its most difficult member instead.

Kakashi doesn’t have to answer to Iruka or the Third for Naruto’s failure.

He does suddenly have to account for the future of a team he’d been certain wouldn’t have to lead, though, and he can’t do that on his own. He led his teams in ANBU well. He helped Tenzō grow into the silent terror he is now, but Kakashi had teammates to help him.

* * *

This time, he remembers belatedly, he has Iruka.

* * *

When Kakashi tells him about their mission in Mist and what happened with Naruto, Iruka nods in understanding.

“He gets too attached to the people around him,” he says. “It’s more dangerous than his inattention. I don’t need to tell you that he’s die for any of you without hesitation.”

Kakashi gives him a long, pointed look that Iruka doesn’t acknowledge beyond a creeping blush.

* * *

“Hey, Iruka. Do you miss teaching?” Kakashi asks. He’s still recovering from a mission, his chakra drained from repeated use of his Sharingan but otherwise reasonably mobile. He returned to the village to hand over the scroll and prove he survived, and now he’s lounging comfortably on a bed of thick moss in the section of the forest Iruka seems to like best. “Not the students- the actual teaching.”

“It’s difficult to separate the two,” Iruka says absently. He’s looking over Kakashi’s second attempt at filling out his report. From the loom on his face, Kakashi’s doing well.

The first draft was almost perfect, so unless Kakashi made a new error, this one should be flawless.

“But if you tried?” he asks. “Making lessons, improving them, you liked that sort of thing, right?”

Iruka sighs and sets Kakashi’s report on his lap. He’s sitting with his back to a tree, but his hair pulled up loosely instead of its usual tight ponytail. Kakashi can’t pinpoint a reason for the change, but he knows he likes it.

“I do,” Iruka says slowly. “I didn’t realize how much work went into teaching when I asked to be moved to the Academy. I thought the biggest challenge would be the students.”

“But they’re the easy part?” Kakashi supplies.

“There are no easy parts.” Iruka smiles as he says it. “Everything about teaching is challenging. It’s looked down on, but it isn’t for the faint of heart.”

Kakashi thinks of his own struggles with Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. He hadn’t realized how many small things would require attention- keeping them fed, figuring out which quarrels require intervention, balancing their egos…

It’s worth it, though. Adults don’t light up the way his students do. They don’t gripe about Kakashi to his face right before they beg him to teach them.

They’re going to be a terrifying team when they get older, and Kakashi can’t wait to see it.

Iruka’s voice draws him out of a daydream where Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke easily take on a small army while Kakashi takes a nap. “What makes you ask?”

“Hm? Oh, I guess I wondered if writing reports is a good substitute for making lesson plans.”

Iruka‘s expression immediately grows suspicious, and Kakashi smiles behind his mask. The truth is safe for now; the lie is believable enough to keep Iruka’s mind from chasing Kakashi to a future he hasn’t finished building.

* * *

“He’s clumsy and forgetful, but Naruto knows more than he realizes,” Kakashi says in the middle of a searing summer day. “You taught him well.”

Unlike Kakashi, who’s sitting in the shade of a tree, Iruka’s sitting directly under the sun, his legs dangling in a stream. He tilts his head thoughtfully. “Honestly, I didn’t have much to do with it.”

“Don’t be modest.”

“I’m not. He’s a good shinobi by nature; he just needs the opportunity to learn in a way that suits him.”

“Suits him? How else is he supposed to learn if not by learning?”

The look Iruka gives him is pitying, but there’s an energy about him that only comes out when he’s talking about teaching. It’s different from the happiness Kakashi enjoys. Iruka glows when he talks about his students- Naruto is his favorite, but he looks after all of them.

It’s passion, and Kakashi basks in the warmth of it.

He’s probably staring, but even when Iruka isn’t smiling, he’s compelling. The intensity of his focus suits him.

Kakashi sets the thought aside, along with all the thoughts that want to follow. He can wonder whether Iruka is intense in bed later. He can take a long shower and think about making Iruka laugh after he gets home.

He can imagine being the only thing Iruka can think about when Iruka isn’t in front of him.

“This is why geniuses don’t always make good teachers,” Iruka says with a frown. “You learn well from reading, just like Sakura and Sasuke. Reading isn’t always learning, Kakashi. You can give some students every graph and explain every concept as simply as possible; it still won’t work. That’s why people think Naruto is stupid. He’s bad at memorization.”

“That’s why he does so much better when he’s fighting. He needs to experience it.”

“Exactly. He’s an extreme example, but a lot of our students have been like him. I don’t know why we still do so many lectures. Daikoku, Suzume, and I all asked for more freedom to do things practically. Obviously, last I knew, that hadn’t gone through.”

Kakashi hums. He’s had similar concerns.

Neither of them brings up the fact that Iruka must have told Hiruzen all of this.

“Still,” Kakashi says, frowning at Iruka, “you’re selling your influence short. Naruto isn’t working hard just for himself. He wants to make you proud.”

Iruka shakes his head. “He already has.”

Another thought that passes unsaid- eventually, Naruto will have to confront the uncertainty that’s lurking under his brash confidence. He knows there’s a monster inside him. He hasn’t realized how dangerous it makes him, though. He hasn’t seen himself from the outside when fury is turning him into an animal that could easily kill any ninja in Konoha.

He’ll see it eventually, though, and the knowledge that he’s a weapon that can cut both ways could be what rips him apart.

In condemning Naruto to a life as an outcast, Konoha may have damned itself.

“You’ll keep looking after him,” Iruka says quietly.

“That’s my job, isn’t it?”

“I wasn’t asking you for a favor, Kakashi. I was making an observation.”

Kakashi looks at Iruka sharply, setting aside the pleasant warmth in his belly at the sound of his name in Iruka’s voice for later. “Are you getting at something, Iruka?”

“Am I?” Iruka closes his eyes and tilts his face up to the sun. The light catches on the sweat at the base of his throat, and Kakashi bites his tongue against the thought that he’s never touched Iruka. Clearly, Iruka has a body humans can feel. Does it get warm under the sun? Is it ticklish? Does he like being touched?

Does his body feel the days he’s gone without being touched as keenly Kakashi’s does?

“You’re happier now that you have a team. It’s nice.”

* * *

Guy keeps training with Iruka.

Kakashi, by virtue of spending most of his downtime with Iruka, often gets dragged into it.

Today, though, Guy brought his team to spar with Iruka.

Iruka can't use chakra anymore, so he can’t use ninjutsu or genjutsu, which leaves him with nothing but taijutsu, which he can do decently but isn’t nearly strong enough to hold out against Guy’s students, and his wiles, which are.

Kakashi winces in sympathy as the miniature Guy lands a solid kick to Iruka’s chest and tries to press his advantage, only for the day’s second cloud of smoke to rush from the place he struck.

The first cloud was in the first round against the girl with the scroll of sealed weapons. She got up close and struck Iruka’s shoulder with the end of a quarterstaff, only for smoke to rush at her. Tears had streamed from eyes so heavily she couldn’t see.

This one makes Lee sneeze so hard he can’t coordinate himself enough to raise his hands to defend himself when Iruka walks over to him and delicately taps his throat with a kunai.

“I never thought sneezing could be a weapon,” Tenten observes. She’s the only girl, which puts her at a disadvantage next to her bigger teammates, but she got under Iruka’s guard and knocked him off-balance a few times before she set off the smoke.

Waving the cloud away and freeing Lee from his sneezes, Iruka nods at her. “Pranks are inherently non-lethal, but they’re good training in lateral thinking. You can weaponize just about anything if you’re creative enough.”

Guy makes approvingly sound. “This is valuable training for setting traps- and avoiding them.”

Lee and Tenten nod, taking the lesson in readily.

The third, Neji, has been skeptical of the training from the start.

“It’s your turn, then,” Iruka says, turning to him. “Are you ready?”

Neji steps forward and says gravely, “Let’s begin.”

Abandoning his earlier strategy, Iruka darts forward, charging straight at Neji.

Neji shifts into the Hyuugas’ unmistakable stance, unflinching at Iruka’s rapid approach. Kakashi watches him gauge the distance and tries to puzzle out Iruka’s new strategy. If he’s just going to use another cloud, why run at him? What lesson could this possibly teach Neji that he couldn’t have picked up from the first two?

Kakashi figures out Iruka’s plan as Neji steps into what would be a crushing strike, only for Iruka to raise his own hand and meet him in the middle, their palms colliding with a slap that makes Kakashi wince. Iruka’s momentum carries him forward, while Neji, who’d been standing still, is thrown backwards. He only takes a few steps, but a few is enough.

Iruka stops himself, but Neji stumbles onto a section of grass Kakashi and Guy have both been eyeing suspiciously. It looks suspiciously green, the way it tends to when Iruka laid a certain kind of trap.

Neji proves them right. His foot lands on it, and he rockets into the air hard enough he’ll be sick for a while- or would have been, if Iruka hadn’t pulled him back and off the trap before Neji’s feet lost contact with the earth.

The ground snaps up sharply, and Neji’s face loses its color as Iruka releases him.

“I’m sure Guy has already told you this, but it’s worth repeating- blocking chakra doesn’t matter if your opponent is willing to make some sacrifices,” Iruka explains. He walks over to the trap and resets it with a wave of his hand. The ground returns to its previous state, the slight discoloration from earlier gone. “It isn’t pretty, but there’s a reason brute force works.”

Neji nods, but he still looks rattled.

“You were one of Daikoku’s students, weren’t you?” Iruka asks.

_Here’s Iruka-sensei, come to deliver a lesson._

Neji blinks at him. “I was.”

“I thought so. I remember him mentioning you. Very bright, destined to master the Gentle Fist, but inflexible.” Iruka must see the way Neji lifts his chin at the word “destined”. “You know how the world works, don’t you?”

“Of course.”

“You’re a genius, no doubt, but you still think the way we teach you in the Academy.” He offers Neji a wry smile. “He looks silly, but your teacher is probably a more difficult opponent in an unconventional fight than the infamous Copy Ninja, simply because he’s more chaotic.”

Kakashi ignores Iruka’s friendly jibe and Guy’s sagely nod. 

Neji looks at Iruka for a long moment. “Thank you, Sensei,” he says.

Iruka nods at him, and Neji returns to his teammates.

Turning back to the adults, Iruka quirks a brow at them. “So, which jounin thinks he can do better?”

“I do,” Kakashi says, cutting in before Guy.

“Prepare yourself, Kakashi-san. That Sharingan of yours won’t work on me.”

“It’s a good thing that isn’t my plan.”

“Plan, huh? Were you making use of my fights to set your own traps?” Iruka asks. At Kakashi’s shrug, his face splits in a smile so bright it hurts. “Let’s see how they measure up.”

* * *

Iruka either sidesteps or deliberately sets off every one of Kakashi’s traps. He redirects a few as well, and each time he finds one, he gives Kakashi a look of respect. 

Kakashi might do a better job of leading him into the traps if he didn’t get distracted by Iruka’s open joy every time he finds one.

“That’s very clever!” he says around a laugh as he hops over a tripwire Kakashi has been subtly leading him toward and dances around the three that follow it. “Any one of these would throw me into the river, right?”

“If you would please just step on one, the effect would be much more interesting than hearing you explain it, Sensei,” Kakashi points out as he chases Iruka. “And it’s only a little a river. More like a creek, really.”

Close enough to strike again, he swings his leg in a wide arc Iruka dodges easily, then uses a burst of chakra to snap it back, far faster.

Iruka can’t avoid it, so he blocks his ribs with his forearm, the other arm reaching for the bait Kakashi planted.

The moment Iruka’s hand closes around Kakashi’s ankle, his eyes widen.

It’s a simple trap, just a bit of tacky glue Iruka frees himself from quickly.

The time it takes him to recover from his surprise and retrieve his hand that is long enough for Guy to materialize grab him.

Iruka’s fate is sealed, and the look on his face as Guy swings him around says he knows it. He struggles valiantly, though, and doesn’t stop as Guy throws them both at the river.

Iruka lands with an almighty splash that Kakashi watches with the vicious sense of pleasure that comes from having been hit with balloons full of warm water all summer.

When he resurfaces, Iruka splutters up at them.

Guy grins down at him from where he’s sitting on the surface of the water, damp but not nearly as wet as Iruka.

Iruka sighs heavily as he drags himself to the edge of the creek and climbs onto dry land.

His clothes are soaking wet, as is the rest of him, and hanging heavily. He lets his hair down with an almost-sincere sour look and gets to work squeezing the water out.

“Can’t you dry yourself off?” Tenten asks, reminding Kakashi that he did manage to lead Iruka back to the starting point where Guy was waiting with his team.

Iruka nods. “I could, but since Kakashi and Guy worked so hard to get me in the water, it would be bad sportsmanship.”

Guy trots over and claps Kakashi on the shoulder happily. “That was good teamwork, rival!”

Kakashi lets himself enjoy their victory. “It was, wasn’t it?”

He doesn’t protest when Guy and his team take their leave not long after. Iruka always behaves more formally around other people, and Kakashi is itching to know what he'll do without an audience.

“I should have known something was odd when Guy didn’t argue about sparring with me,” Iruka says with a sigh.

“Yep,” Kakashi agrees.

Iruka pulls his hair up absently, but when he reaches for the hem of his shirt, he pauses.

“What?” Kakashi asks when the silence stretches.

“Are you going to watch me undress?”

Kakashi’s face burns as he shakes his head quickly. “I wasn’t- That is- I’m not- No.”

He manages to stop stuttering answers he doesn’t have and feels an unwarranted sense of pride.

“Then would you mind turning around?” Iruka asks. “I said I wouldn’t dry myself off, but I don’t want to sit around sopping wet either.”

“Ah, yes, I can do that.”

Kakashi turns around quickly, his face still burning. He tries to think of other things, but he can hear Iruka getting undressed and wringing out his clothes.

His thoughts drift to the water. Can Iruka feel the cold? If Kakashi touched him now, would he feel cool from surprise his dip in the creek?

Naruto mentioned once that Iruka used to like going to bathhouses. Does he only like hot water? He seemed happy enough to put his legs in the water before, but that wasn’t swimming.

With a little ingenuity, Kakashi might be able to create a makeshift hot spring. Would Iruka like that? Or would it be strange?

_Why did I think getting him wet was a good idea?_

By the time Iruka tells him he can turn around, Kakashi’s entire body is hot with embarrassment.

Iruka’s clothes don’t fit him very well anymore, but Kakashi is more interested in the red flush to his cheeks and down his neck as Iruka arranges himself in the sunlight.

Kakashi gets comfortable in the shade of a tree a few yards away. They talk a little over the next few hours, but mostly they sit quietly.

Iruka yawns a few times, and Kakashi dozes off.

He wakes up in time to see Iruka stretch expansively, his waistband slipping down and his shirt riding up as he arches his back.

Kakashi looks away quickly, but he’s already seen Iruka like that. He’s already imagining the sound Iruka would make if Kakashi kissed him there as he pulled Iruka’s clothes the rest of the way off.

Iruka would look nice with a hickey on his belly, and Kakashi has to live with the knowledge that he thought that.

* * *

He has to live with the knowledge that he got off in the shower thinking about that, too.

* * *

And in his bed.

* * *

It’s funny, in a backwards way. The more Kakashi thinks about fucking Iruka, the harder he fucks himself.

* * *

Kakashi has a perfectly good excuse for not bringing Team 7 to spar with Iruka. He won’t make Naruto fight his dead teacher, and only bringing Sakura and Sasuke wouldn’t be much better.

* * *

He stops visiting Iruka for a while. He’s got a lot on his plate- he has to run his own missions as well as plan his team’s. He’s never had to do this before, and it takes a lot of time to get things right.

* * *

It’s not as if there’s a book on how to do this.

* * *

There isn’t a book on thinking about fucking your friend against a tree either, though, and Kakashi is doing that just fine.

* * *

Against a tree, on the ground, in his bed, on a desk, on the table, on the floor, in a chair, standing up, lying down…

* * *

He takes good care of his team. They’re learning and growing stronger.

Naruto keeps shooting him strange looks, but that’s just Naruto.

* * *

Kakashi has an existential crisis when he realizes he used up all the lube and hadn't even noticed it getting low.

* * *

Naruto keeps visiting Iruka. He tells Kakashi as much, and at first Kakashi thinks that’s just Naruto being Naruto. Nothing Naruto sees isn’t worth commenting on.

Kakashi holds onto that until he and Team 7 have sat down for lunch and Naruto blurts, “Kakashi-sensei, have you seen Iruka-sensei lately?”

“Hmm… I’ve been busy, so no, not really. Why?”

“It’s just… He doesn’t always seem all there sometimes.” Naruto looks down at his food and frowns. “He said he’s fine, but how would I know? I’ve never met any other spirits. What if he has to leave again? What if it’s permanent this time?”

Kakashi pats Naruto’s head. “I’ll check on him, okay? I'm sure it's fine.”

He has no way of knowing whether it is or isn't. Kakashi isn't any more knowledgeable about spirits than Naruto is. He’s still the teacher, though. It’s his job to take care of the things his students aren’t strong enough to handle.

* * *

As stubborn as he was, Obito would yield if Rin asked him to- and Kakashi yielded, too. 

Kakashi has never felt like that about someone; he would follow Rin when she dragged Kakashi and Obito along, but Obito was the one who loved her.

It might be nice to want someone like that, but Kakashi can’t escape the fact that he wasn’t meant for domestic life- blades don’t stop being sharp just because you don’t want to get cut on them. His first priority is Konoha, and it always will be. He’s seen enough relationships fall apart because one person was like him to know not to try.

* * *

The problem is that what Kakashi knows and what he wants diverge sometimes, and after years of being able to remind himself that it’s better not to hurt people, he wants Iruka.

He isn’t old, but he feels like he is.

Iruka, with his warring sense of order and desire to disrupt order, makes Kakashi want to live for something other than Konoha.

* * *

He wants to hear that he’s pushing himself too hard, and when he comes back in pieces, he wants to say okay when Iruka tells him not to run out as soon as he can.

He wants to have a reason to rest.

* * *

Iruka doesn’t look surprised when Kakashi shows up at his favorite spot sometime after midnight. Iruka is sitting in the tree Kakashi usually sits under. The light from the waning moon makes him look gaunt, his generous face sharp in ways it never has been before.

His eyes are unfocused, and Kakashi’s gut clenches at the thought of all the things Iruka could be seeing.

“Are you going somewhere?” Kakashi asks.

“No.” Iruka doesn’t look away from the sky. “Did Naruto send you?”

“He thinks you’re going to leave him behind again.” Kakashi finishes crossing over to Iruka’s tree so he can stand next to Iruka’s branch, his head a foot or so below Iruka’s knees. “Are you?”

Iruka blinks, his distant expression wrinkling in confusion as he finally meets Kakashi’s eyes. “Leave him? No, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Is there any chance you could give me a little more than that? An explanation, maybe?”

“I’ve been working on leaving the forest.” Iruka looks back up at the sky. “The process is taking longer than I’d hoped, but I can make it a few yards past the treeline now. Sometimes, if I latch onto someone who’s alive, I can almost reach the village. I nearly got close enough to touch the wall the other day,” he says proudly. “The problem is, it’s exhausting, and it takes me a long time to recover. I thought I was hiding it well. I should have known better. Of course he’s watching me closely.”

Even dampened, Iruka, like Naruto, is still more vibrant than most people.

“It would make a nice surprise," Kakashi allows, "but since none of us knows what will happen to you next-”

“Nothing will happen.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Can’t I? Dying opens your eyes to all sorts of things, Kakashi. The dead know the world in ways the living cannot.”

Despite himself, Kakashi sighs. Iruka isn’t looking at him, so Kakashi looks out into the darkness. “That’s really unhelpful, you know.”

“Is that so? And here I thought I was just here for Naruto, since he’s the only person who comes to see me. Well, he also brings Sakura and Sasuke sometimes, but they come along for his sake, not mine.”

Kakashi clears his throat uncomfortably. He’d known Iruka wouldn’t let his unexplained absence go unmentioned. “Sorry.”

“That’s it? No explanation?”

“That's right."

Risking a look, Kakashi glances over at Iruka.

Iruka regards him steadily. “Okay.”

“That’s it?”

“Like I said, I’m tired. Ask me again when I can make it through the gate.”

The stubborn set of his jaw is familiar.

_Did Naruto learn it from him or did he learn it from Naruto?_

“You really are going to keep looking after him, aren’t you?” Kakashi asks.

_I’m not the only one whose life doesn’t belong to him._

Iruka folds his arms across his chest and gives Kakashi a dirty look. “Of course I am.”

“Of course you are,” Kakashi echoes. What else would the answer be? Iruka died for Naruto and stayed out of concern for him.

Despite being exhausted from teaching Team 7 and accepting an enthusiastic challenge from Guy, Kakashi isn’t ready to return to his apartment. It’s a beautiful night. The sky is clear; the stars are bright. Iruka isn’t angry with him, and he isn’t leaving.

Kakashi opens his mouth to tell Iruka his side of one of Naruto’s recent adventures since those always make him happy, but Kakashi’s thoughts snag on something Iruka said earlier. “If you can get exhausted, does that mean you can sleep?”

“It does.” Iruka sighs heavily. “I don’t need a full night’s rest like the living need- it does feel good, though. But maybe that’s because I didn’t sleep much when I was alive. Come to think of it,” he continues, casting a sharp look at Kakashi, “how long has it been since you slept through the night?”

“How long have I had Team 7?”

Kakashi means it as a joke, but having a team to look after is tiring in a way running missions with more experienced teammates isn’t. He has to fret over his students about things other shinobi don’t need him to fret over for them. He wakes up in the middle of the night wondering if Naruto’s eaten and if he’s drinking expired milk. Is Sasuke sleeping, or is he reliving his family’s slaughter? Why isn’t Sakura growing as much as her teammates when she has the capacity to?

Are they happy? Is he doing this right?

What will he teach them tomorrow? The day after?

No matter how often he asks himself, he’s never satisfied with his answers.

“So you’ve received the mantle of insomnia bestowed on all new teachers. You’re still running missions, too, aren’t you? I’ve heard you.” Slipping off the branch, Iruka holds out a hand. “Come here.”

“I only came to check up on you,” Kakashi says quickly, taking a healthy step back. “There are other things I need to do.”

“You don’t want to sleep through the night? Naruto’s right. You really are weird.”

Kakashi relents. A full night’s rest isn’t something any ninja should turn his nose up at. “That’s a dirty tactic.”

“That’s what makes it so effective,” Iruka agrees. “If you’re done complaining, come on. You’ll fall over if I do this while you’re standing up, and I’m too tired to catch you.”

Skeptical but drawn by the possibility of a real sleep, Kakashi follows Iruka over to the thick bed of moss Kakashi likes to stretch out on when the sun isn’t shining too hard.

“You’ll wake me up if anything happens,” he says as he lies down, allowing Iruka’s hands to help him unnecessarily find his way in the dark.

“Of course. And I’ll keep you safe until you wake up.”

It could sound flirty or overly earnest, but it’s only honest.

“I guess I’ll leave myself in your care, then.”

The ground is cold, at odds with the warmth of Iruka’s fingers where he touches Kakashi’s face.

Kakashi’s fingers itch to reach up and take Iruka’s hands in his. He doesn’t let them.

“Sleep well, Kakashi,” Iruka says softly, his eyes finally warm again and full with an emotion that runs too deep for Kakashi to be able to name it.

Kakashi tries to tell him the same, but he’s asleep before he can move his mouth. 

* * *

He wakes up to Guy’s distant shout of excitement. 

He sighs. “Even at this hour, Guy? At our age?”

A few feet away, Iruka chuckles. “Good morning. How do you feel?”

Sitting up slowly, Kakashi stretches widely, enjoying the pleasant tugs and pops his body makes as it realigns itself. He’d figured he’d be sore in some places after sleeping in the ground, but he just feels loose and comfortable. Even the phantom aches from old wounds have lessened.

“I’m… good,” he says. He feels better than he’d thought he would; if he didn’t remember Iruka guiding him down, he would suspect he hadn’t spent the night on the forest floor.

It’s been a long time since he got this much sleep without having something in his system or being on death’s door.

Looking over at Iruka, who’s lying on his back near Kakashi’s tree with his eyes closed, Kakashi says, “Thank you.”

To his surprise, Iruka laughs. “So you didn’t forget all your manners.” Iruka opens his eyes and looks over at Kakashi to smile at him. “You just don’t use them.” There’s a rebuke in the words, but it’s softened by the smile Iruka quirks at him.

_Is he able to be so happy because he’s a spirit, or was he always like this? I didn’t know him well enough to remember._

_If we had known each other before he died, would I have wanted to keep seeing him just to be near someone who can let his pain go for a little while?_

“Life is more interesting when you’re a little rude,” he says.

Iruka rolls his eyes as he gets to his feet. It’s still early enough that the sun hasn’t fully cleared the horizon; lit softly, he looks less like a doting prankster and more like a tragic figure from one of the romance books Kakashi used to borrow before he found Icha Icha.

Iruka isn’t a tormented soul, though. The darkness around him isn’t a punishment. 

He isn’t an epic hero struggling through isolation on his worthy journey either.

He’s a teacher who stayed in this forest out of love for a troubled child. His life’s journey is over; he’s already begun to fade from the village’s memory.

“You should get going, Kakashi-san,” Iruka says gently. “The village is waking up. You’ve got better things to do than sit here.”

Kakashi does have other things to do.

“I think I’d rather stay here for a while,” he says, lying back down and closing his eyes. “The road of life is full of twists and turns. I’d hate to get lost.”

“Don’t use my good will as an excuse to slack off,” Iruka chastises, but there’s a smile in his voice.

“I would never.”

* * *

Three disappointed faces meet him at the edge of the forest.

“Sensei,” Naruto says with all the gravity of his twelve years, “you’re not supposed to sleep outside.”

“And you were alone,” Sakura adds. “That’s dangerous!”

Sasuke squints at Kakashi. “No, he wasn’t.”

“He wasn’t?” Naruto and Sakura ask at the same time.

“He wasn’t.”

Sasuke doesn’t elaborate. Naruto and Sakura squint at Kakashi, looking for whatever evidence Sasuke spotted.

“You’re very energetic today,” Kakashi says brightly. “Let’s see what the Missions Desk has to offer.”

Three hours later, when his students are up to their knees in garbage while they look for a sculpture Naruto tossed aside ten minutes in because he wasn’t paying attention when the artist was talking and thought he was holding a mistake- an assessment Kakashi can’t begrudge a twelve year old for having- Kakashi realizes he hasn’t felt this good in a long time.

* * *

Naruto made himself at home in Iruka’s apartment. Kakashi checks in on him periodically, sometimes by showing up at his door and sometimes by breaking in.

As expected, Naruto hasn’t been transformed into a tidy person, but he isn’t as bad.

Some of the clothes get folded. The food, which stays in the kitchen except when it doesn’t, mostly gets put back where it belongs. The dishes get washed before they start to grow anything.

The door to Iruka’s room stays locked, but there’s a small pile on the floor by it. A pillow, a blanket, and a few snacks- nothing out of place, except it’s all in the hallway outside a locked door. And, unlike the rest of the apartment, the blanket is folded neatly on the pillow, the pillow is tucked against the door, and the snacks are on top of the blanket.

 _Well, they usually are,_ Kakashi thinks as he picks his way over the wrappers.

Sometimes, like tonight, the wrappers are spread out across the floor, the blanket is flung wide, and there’s an exhausted ninja slumped over with his face against the doorway.

Naruto doesn’t so much as mumble as Kakashi adjusts him so he’s sleeping flat on the floor with his head on the pillow. Covering him with the blanket is tricky because Naruto has a hold on it like a vice, so Kakashi switches tactics to shifting the blanket until it covers as much of Naruto as it can.

It’s strange to feel the absence of something that never existed, but as Kakashi looks over Naruto one last time, he can feel the ghost of the world where instead of him, it’s Iruka coming home late and tucking Naruto in.

The moon is hidden behind thick clouds as Kakashi leaves through the window and heads home, but he knows that at the edge of the forest, Iruka is still working doggedly to reach Konoha.

_Your son is in good hands, Sensei. That man has enough love to keep Naruto strong until the rest of the village acknowledges him._

* * *

If Kakashi had been paying attention, he would have recognized the ambush for what it was.

Instead, he’d been thinking about his first afternoon back in Konoha after he and Team 7 returned from their impossible mission.

Naruto had insisted that Iruka tell Kakashi off for reading his book during a mission instead of helping. Kakashi had pointed out that he’d be a poor team leader if he couldn’t delegate tanuki-wrangling to his genin, and the two of them had gone back and forth until Iruka fell asleep on the blanket they’d brought for him.

Naruto doesn’t trust Kakashi’s reassurance that Iruka isn’t going anywhere, and Kakashi had almost had to sit on him to keep Naruto from waking Iruka up.

In the end, Iruka had woken up on his own, and he’d smiled muzzily at Kakashi.

That smile is the reason Kakashi isn’t prepared when Tenzō drops down next to him as Kakashi is returning through the gate and says, “Senpai, it’s kind of embarrassing that the only person you’re interested in is dead.” 

Kakashi has a retort, but he takes a moment too long finding it.

Tenzō gives him a long, pitying look. “He doesn’t know, does he?”

“No, he doesn’t, and he doesn’t need to.”

“Is that so?” Tenzō asks.

Kakashi nods. He can feel Tenzō thinking, and before he has to hear what those thoughts are, he says, “You were cuter when we were younger.”

“Was I? I don’t spend much time thinking about my own face, to be honest.”

The _unlike you_ goes unsaid.

“What are you looking for?” Kakashi sighs. “I know you didn’t come just to harass me.”

Tenzō nods, and the levity disappears as he says, “The hokage needs you.”

* * *

“If you can piggyback on the living, why don’t you use me?”

From his spot on the ground just inside the trees, Iruka lolls his head in Kakashi’s direction. He’s breathing hard, he’s soaked with sweat, and his eyes look classy.

This is the worst Kakashi has ever seen him.

“What makes you think I haven’t been?” Iruka challenges.

It would be more convincing if he weren’t still gasping for breath.

“Have you?”

He wheezes a laugh. “No.”

“Iruka.”

“What?”

Kakashi shakes his head. “The team and I are leaving for a mission in an hour. It’s going to be a long one. You should try to rest while we’re gone.”

Iruka nods and scrapes together a smile. “Be safe.”

Even looking like he’s dying a second time, there’s enough happiness in Iruka’s smile to make Kakashi’s heart beat fast.

* * *

Iruka looks better when they return.

Kakashi looks worse.

He sits against his tree while Iruka chases Naruto through the forest, the two of them having a loud, fabricated argument about something Kakashi isn’t following. He doesn’t remember why the chasing started, but after the unrelenting pressure of their last mission, it’s good to hear them having fun.

Sakura and Sasuke tagged along, and as Kakashi lets his eye fall shut, he hears the familiar sounds of Naruto begging them to help him.

He isn’t going to die from his wounds, but as Kakshi listens to his students argue, Iruka’s voice cutting in periodically when Naruto’s gets loud, he wouldn’t mind if this were the end.

* * *

He wakes up feeling more tired than before he slept.

Dusk has fallen, and with the season changing from summer to fall, the cold is creeping in.

“You know,” Iruka says from a foot away, “I touched the gate yesterday.”

Kakashi struggles to get his sluggish thoughts moving again. This is good news. Iruka is working hard to reach his goal, and he’s making progress.

It’s been a long time since Kakashi had a specific goal like that. Missions have desired outcomes, but Kakashi himself has always been a bit directionless.

Keeping Konoha safe is vital, but it has no real shape. He does whatever needs to be done. Training to get stronger is equally shapeless.

What, specifically, does Kakashi want?

Even now, with a team to lead, the things he wants to accomplish are nebulous: keep Team 7 from imploding, teach his students so they grow up strong, protect them with his life.

Has he ever worked hard for one thing the way Iruka is?

“Congratulations,” he says. He sounds weary, but he means it. “You look better than you did last time.”

“Thank you for noticing. I remembered something I learned when I was a student.”

Kakashi’s eyes are too heavy to stay open, so he lets them fall shut. “Is that so?”

“It is. Would you like to hear it?”

Kakashi nods.

“Sometimes,” Iruka says with a smile in his voice, “the stupidest ideas work the best.”

Kakashi is too tired to smile, but he still enjoys Iruka's good mood. “Why do I get the feeling you learned that in a less than reputable reputable way?”

“Why do I get the feeling you’ll fall down if you try to stand up? Because it’s true.”

Despite his exhaustion, a laugh bubbles up from Kakashi’s chest. “You walk an interesting line between polite and blunt, Iruka.”

“And you walk a worrying line between devoted and self-destructive.”

Kakashi winces. “I was being playful.”

“I know you were. I was being blunt.”

“Ah, you’re too witty for me, Sensei.”

“I’m not a witty person, so you can understand my concern.” A warm hand touches Kakashi’s forehead. “Well, you don’t have a fever. That’s good. I'm not a healer.”

“A little sleep and I’ll be fine,” Kakashi promises. Iruka hasn’t taken his hand away; it’s nice, even if Kakashi would rather have that warmth somewhere else.

_You should hold my hand._

Iruka gently pats his head. “It won’t be as good this time, but I’d like you to stay here again.”

It’s a long journey to his apartment. Kakashi could make it back, but if Iruka is offering, he’d rather stay here.

“If you insist. I’d hate to be rude.”

Forcing his eye open, Kakashi starts to lean forward to get up, but Iruka stops him with a hand on his chest.

“You’re fine like this, Kakashi.”

Kakashi nods and sits back against the tree.

He’s going to remember Iruka saying that. He’s going to keep the memory of Iruka being gentle with him.

This is worse than just wanting to have sex with Iruka.

This is going to hurt.

Not yet, though.

Kakashi closes his eye again and lets himself be pulled under into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

He wakes up feeling fine, which is more than good enough.

Instead of Iruka, though, he’s faced with his students.

“Sensei,” Sakura sighs. “This is ridiculous.”

Kakashi frowns at her. “Huh?”

Sasuke shakes his head.

Naruto points at him and says, “You’re six hours late!”

“I am?” Kakashi looks up at the sky, takes in the sun’s position, concludes that his team is telling him the truth, and nods his understanding. “Sorry, sorry. I saw an interesting bug and stopped to watch it.”

Sakura bristles. “Get better at lying!”

She doesn’t quite drown out Naruto’s skeptical, “Why are you looking at bugs?”

* * *

Kakashi does keep the memory of Iruka.

He wishes he hadn’t.

* * *

It occurs to him that if he put thought into it, he could come up with a way to extricate himself from Iruka’s orbit.

He doesn’t do it.

* * *

Iruka isn’t a touchy-feely person.

Kakashi had thought he might be; he’s got the open, friendly personality of someone who would be inoffensively, mindlessly tactile with the people around him.

He respectfully keeps his hands to himself, though. Even with Naruto, he tends to wait to be reached for first.

Kakashi tries not to read into that.

* * *

He tries not to be disappointed that Iruka didn’t wait for him to get back, too.

He doesn’t manage to do either.

* * *

“Hey, Sensei?” Naruto asks.

“What?” Iruka and Kakashi chorus.

Naruto looks at them.

They look at each other.

“This is going to be confusing, isn’t it?” Naruto asks, sighing.

Iruka narrows his eyes. “Three extra syllables won’t kill you, Naruto.”

“But it’s three extra syllables _every time.”_

He’s whining, and Kakashi is tempted to humor him just to end what he knows will turn into an extended series of complaints.

“You’ve just said more than three syllables,” Iruka says, beating Kakashi. “And what else would you call us? Iruka-kun? Kakashi-chan?”

For a fleeting moment, Kakashi experiences his first rush of social anxiety. Iruka is playing with fire with Kakashi’s already diminishing respectability.

Naruto grimaces. “No way! That’s too weird.”

Iruka nods, but Kakashi can see his pleased smirk.

Kakashi looks at him with renewed respect.

_He drew Naruto into that… Teachers really are scary._

* * *

“It would be nice if this didn’t happen so often,” Kakashi says tiredly as he reaches for the soap. He could just turn the shower’s temperature to cold, but he doesn’t have anything to do until the afternoon. He may as well indulge.

The dreams can’t be helped, but he wasn’t dreaming when he let his mind drift back to the day Guy tossed Iruka into the creek. That was a choice, just like it’s a choice to turn the water off, rub the soap into a lather, and take himself in hand.

 _You’re fine like this._ That’s what Iruka said.

Breathing hard through his nose and biting his tongue to keep quiet when he comes, Kakashi doesn’t feel fine.

* * *

Iruka looks down his nose at the Icha Icha book Kakashi brought with him. It’s just them today; the team is running formation drills with a promising chūnin.

“What is it you like about those books?” he asks.

“They’re good.”

“They aren’t.”

“Just because _you_ don’t like romance-”

“The Jiraiya stand-ins are creepy.”

About to open his book just to rankle Iruka further, Kakashi pauses. “You’ve actually read them?”

“I have a lot of free time,” Iruka says defensively. “People drop things.”

Kakashi blinks at him. “How many have you read?”

“The third one and the first one. In that order.”

He’s saying that just to rankle Kakashi, and it works.

Kakashi won’t lose his composure before Iruka does, though. That would be too much to bear. “You really don’t like him?”

“I don’t.” Iruka shakes his head sharply, but rather than simply dismiss the books, he adds, “Maybe my hopes were too high. The series is popular, so I thought there might be more to them than I'd heard.”

He looks so disappointed, Kakashi feels a twinge of embarrassment.

Uncomfortable with this turn, he asks, “But what about the erotic scenes? Didn’t you like them?”

Iruka’s face turns bright red. “No.”

“Your face says otherwise. Don’t tell me- it wasn’t exciting enough?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” Iruka says with a scowl. “The story we're meant to think is compelling is creepy, and Jiraiya’s attempts at dirty talk are clumsy. I'd rather read one of Ibiki's reports on new ways to torture- I suppose he could add the books to his repertoire.”

Unable to help himself, Kakashi meets Iruka’s challenging look with one of his own and asks, “And you have a lot of experience with dirty talk, do you?”

Iruka clears his throat, and his face, which had been returning to its usual color, turns bright red again. “I have enough.”

He folds his arms across his chest, radiating embarrassment but too stubborn to let Kakashi have the satisfaction of making him walk away.

Kakashi’s throat is uncomfortably dry. He has a rejoinder, but it’s buried under the certainty that Iruka is underselling what he knows- and with that certainty, the knowledge that this revelation is going to make his utility bill spike.

“That’s good to know,” Kakashi says faintly. “I’m sure you- That is, you were probably- Do you have much use for it out here?”

Iruka’s face turns even brighter red, and Kakashi realizes that this is what life must be like for Naruto, tripping into things he isn’t expecting or ready to handle.

“Are we done with this conversation?” Iruka asks, stopping just short of pleading.

Kakashi nods quickly. “Yep! We’re done. I’m going to read now.”

“That sounds good. I’m going to be over there.”

Iruka jerks his head at the creek, the two of them nod stiffly at each other, and Iruka walks away stiffly.

Kakashi watches him go, unable to keep his eyes from drifting to Iruka’s ass.

* * *

Kakashi’s utilities bill does go up. He can afford to take the hit to his savings, but the damage to his pride is more difficult.

* * *

Iruka would look good in Kakashi’s apartment.

They’d need to rearrange things to accommodate a bigger bed, but that wouldn’t be so bad.

Waking up to Iruka still asleep beside him, coming home from a mission to a kiss from the person he’s missed most, leaving his plants in Iruka’s reliable hands, bumping shoulders as they eat and cook together, sharing a bureau… Iruka would fit in perfectly.

It’s a nice, impossible fantasy.

It hurts, but it’s safe.

* * *

Less safe but equally painful is the second half of the fantasy.

They’d have to be careful- his neighbors are prone to complaining- but if they timed it right, or made the timing right, or kept quiet enough, Iruka would look at home having sex in Kakashi’s apartment.

If Kakashi closes both eyes, he can convince himself his bed is bigger than it is, one suited to two people.

* * *

He can feel Iruka’s body against his. They have a day off together. They can cook and eat each meal together. They can shower together or take a while in the bath together.

They have a lazy day together, but Kakashi isn’t in a rush to start it.

Iruka’s ass fits perfectly against Kakashi’s hips. He twists his neck to reach over his shoulder, looking for a kiss. Kakashi cranes his neck to make it easier.

“I missed you.”

Iruka huffs a laugh, his breath soft against Kakashi’s lips. “You said that two minutes ago. Did you forget?”

“No, I remember. I missed you again.”

“In the ten seconds it took you to go from fingering me to fucking me?”

“Nine point eight, and yes.”

“Sap.” Iruka kisses him again; Kakashi feels him smiling. “Welcome home, Kakashi.”

He turns away again, facing ahead instead of contorting himself, but he lifts Kakashi’s hand off his chest and brings it up to kiss his knuckles.

Kakashi can feel his smile there, too.

He kisses the back of Iruka’s shoulder in return, his free hand squeezing Iruka’s hip as he rocks his hips.

Iruka teases him about being lazy, but it’s nice to take their time. He can always race to fuck Iruka in the minutes between missions and fuck him hard enough to leave another dent in his bedroom wall. He can’t always have Iruka like this, when Iruka is sleep-warm and lazy, too.

He can hear Iruka’s breath hitching, Iruka’s grip on Kakashi’s hand getting harder, but before he can ask, Iruka pulls his knee up to his chest on his own.

“You’re leaving again tomorrow,” he says quietly. “I want as much of you as I can get before then.”

Later, that will be dirty talk. Iruka will tug on Kakashi’s hair and beg him to mark him. He’ll tell Kakashi he’s never wanted anything as much as he wants to feel the ache from Kakashi’s last return home. He’ll beg if Kakashi forgets to stop him.

In their bed with his leg drawn up and his hand clutching Kakashi’s he isn’t begging or winding Kakashi up.

“I’d give you more if I could,” Kakashi tells him, his forehead pressed to Iruka’s spine and his eyes closed. He’d stay in the village and kiss Iruka good morning every day, but his life belongs to Konoha before it belongs to him.

This is where it all begins to fall apart

Iruka kisses his knuckles again. “Stop expecting doom. You’re a shinobi; you should be able to read the man you live with.”

His voice is fond because he’s fond of Kakashi.

“I am a shinobi,” Kakashi replies, falling easily into the pattern of their ritual back and forth. “I’m trained to worry.”

“Do you worry every time you grab a kunai that it will fall apart?”

“Are you saying you want me to think about your weapon?”

Kakashi rolls his hips pointedly, and Iruka’s groan catches in his throat.

“You always have to ruin the mood,” he pants, “and that one was an especially big reach.”

“Sorry,” Kakashi says. He kisses the back of Iruka’s neck in contrition as he always does, safe in the knowledge that Iruka likes this part of the ritual.

“No, you aren’t. I can feel you smiling.”

Smile growing, Kakashi admits, “You caught me. But how am I supposed to be smart when I’m holding you? Man isn’t meant to have everything he wants. It’s hard to know what to do when it’s here.”

He saves Iruka from having to come up with a response to the change in pattern and reaches around to nudge Iruka’s hand away from his cock so Kakashi can jerk him off instead.

Iruka pushes his head into his pillow, muffling the moan Kakashi wishes he could hear clearly. He knows it’s his name, but that’s why Iruka should say it loudly.

Their neighbors should hear him call Kakashi’s name, too.

Iruka’s hand moves to his knee, hugging it to his chest. “Please, Kakashi.”

Kakashi gives into the urge to be lazy again later. He pushes into Iruka as deep as he can, fucking him fast enough and hard enough that they both breathe hard.

Iruka doesn’t quite muffle Kakashi’s name as he comes.

Kakashi definitely doesn’t muffle Iruka’s when he does the same.

They stay as they are for a while, sweaty and breathing hard. Kakashi lets go of Iruka’s cock before Iruka complains and lays it on Iruka’s chest instead, a few inches below their joined hands.

Iruka’s hand covers it a moment later as he sinks into the hug.

They’ll shift over in a bit. Kakashi will wriggle on top of Iruka so he can fall back asleep to the sound of Iruka’s heartbeat.

“Nobody has anybody else all the time,” Iruka says quietly. “I miss you when you go, but I’d rather be with you two days a month than be with someone else all year.

“Iruka…”

“You love me, and you come home to me. I had you to myself for a full month once, and every time I saw you, I felt so happy I thought I’d break. And then you had to leave again and I didn’t see you for almost two months. But you came back. You brought a box of my favorite takeout even though you don’t like it as much as I do, and I thought that would break me, too.

“So don’t tell me we weren’t meant to have everything we want. Even if you’re being a backwards romantic, don’t make think this isn’t real.”

* * *

The dream Kakashi has after that is another kind of torture.

He pushes Iruka up against the side of a building in an alley in the middle of the night and holds Iruka’s hands against the building so he can’t touch himself.

Iruka’s breath comes in gasps as he tells Kakashi how much he loves being fucked like this. He pushes his ass back when Kakashi stops, fucking himself while Kakashi watches just to remind himself that Iruka wants it like this, his heart pounding.

Iruka comes without a hand on his cock, his hands still pinned to the building by Kakashi’s, and the alley echoes when he moans Kakashi’s name.

“Come inside me,” he begs, desperate like he didn’t just get off. “Kakashi, please. I want it. I want you. I want you so much it hurts. Give me a little something for when you’re gone, okay? That’s all I want. Just a little. I don’t ask for much, do I? I’m only asking for this one thing. Just come inside me. I’m yours, aren't I? I’m yours, and I want you to remember me like this.”

Kakashi kisses him hard and doesn’t stop until he can’t do more than press his mouth to the side of Iruka’s neck. He comes like that, holding on too tight and wishing his Sharingan could memorize things like this.

“Thank you,” Iruka says as he turns around, tugging his clothes back into order.

Kakashi ducks his head. “You didn’t have to say all that.”

“No, I didn’t, but I wanted to.” Iruka leans in and kisses him sweetly before he pulls Kakashi’s mask into place. “Be safe, okay?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Good.”

Kakashi will be late if he doesn’t leave in the next couple seconds, so he takes a quick breath and pulls down his mask to say, “I’m yours, too, you know. Don’t forget me while I’m gone.” He kisses Iruka one last time before he turns away and runs to the gate, straightening his own clothes as he does.

He arrives on just time, the memory of Iruka’s bright smile pushed aside for later.

* * *

Tenzō is sitting with him in Kakashi’s little kitchen, the two of them drinking sake too early in the day as they celebrate a successful mission. It was an S-Rank escort mission, and somehow, despite Tenzō nearly getting gutted twice, they all made it back with relatively minor injuries.

“So, you still haven’t talked to him,” Tenzō says, reaching for the bottle.

Kakashi pulls it out of his reach and steals his cup for good measure. There’s still some sake in it, so he drinks it.

“That’s disgusting.”

“I’ve done worse for less.”

Tenzō pulls a face that says he knows full well that Kakashi is laying a trap for him and has no intentions of letting Kakashi duck out of the conversation just for the reward of easy innuendo. “You’re lonely.”

“That’s the fate of shinobi,” Kakashi reminds him.

“Is it? Someone should tell that old couple we met in the Land of Water. They seemed very not lonely.”

“You know what I meant.”

“That you’re afraid of getting hurt? Anyone can see that.” Tenzō makes a grab for the bottle, and when it fails, he slumps back in his seat with a sigh. “He’s interested in you. You’re tripping over yourself to be near him. It’s agonizing.”

Kakashi takes a punitive sip directly from the bottle. “Then stop looking.”

“Please believe me when I say I’d love to.”

For a ninja, Tenzō has a long-standing streak of not wanting to get involved in other people’s business. It makes him useless at sharing village gossip, and even worse, it gives weight to his decision to mention this at all, much less twice.

“You’re supposed to be jealous of me,” Kakashi tells him, reluctantly returning the sake and Tenzō’s cup to the table. “I’m your one that got away.”

“No, it’s the other way around,” Tenzō says flatly. He stares at Kakashi, emotionless, as he knocks back the bottle and downs at least half of it.

“Hey, that’s good stuff, you know!”

Tenzō nods, his expression miserable. “It is, and you made me waste it.”

“That’s an odd way of looking at it.”

“Putting this conversation off will only make it last longer, Senpai.”

Defeated, Kakashi leans back in his chair and waves for Tenzō to say what he needs to.

“Will you really be happier never knowing if the two of you would last?” Tenzō asks. He looks down to pour himself more sake, then looks back up at Kakashi. “If you decide not to try, that’s your business, but at least you’ve made a decision.”

Kakashi nods, reluctantly acknowledging that Tenzō’s advice is solid.

“Good. Now that that’s out of the way, let's drink.”

Relieved, Kakashi lifts his cup in a silent toast.

Tenzō shakes his head, but he lifts his cup all the same.

* * *

Kakashi is lying on the ground in the forest, comfortably wrapped up Iruka’s blanket against the autumn chill and thinking hard about Tenzō advice, when Iruka walks over and says, “Come on.”

“Come on what?” Kakashi asks. He fights a wince at his wording.

“Naruto is getting ramen tonight,” Iruka says patiently. “We’re going to join him.”

“We are?”

“Yes, we are. And I already took your wallet, so don’t try to weasel out of it that way or I’ll treat Naruto to as much as he wants of everything.”

Kakashi could weather that without noticing, but he might not survive pointing that out to Iruka.

“You’re finally ready to show off, huh?” Kakashi asks, reluctantly unwrapping himself. “What’s the occasion?”

“It’s the anniversary of the last time we ate together before I died.”

“You couldn’t wait for his birthday, could you?”

“I couldn’t,” Iruka admits. His cheeks are turning pink as he smiles, a cute habit he can’t control.

Rolling to his feet, Kakashi returns the smile. “Well, we should get going before the not-birthday boy eats everything, shouldn’t we?”

Iruka nods, and together, they set out for Konoha.

* * *

“It really is stupid,” Kakashi says as he watches Iruka shift his bag of forest dirt. It’s almost half as tall as he is. “Your way around being tied to the forest is to bring the first with you.”

“Naruto and I are going to eat ramen together tonight,” Iruka replies, too happy to be offended. “It could be worse.”

Kakashi nods, quietly enjoying Iruka’s good mood.

* * *

“Do you need to carry the dirt yourself?” Kakashi asks as they round the last corner to Ichiraku.

“I’ve tried setting it down, and nothing happened until I tried to go farther than it would let me. Why?”

“You should have your hands free for this. If I can carry it, I will.”

Iruka looks up at him sharply. “You will?”

“Naruto and I see each other almost every day,” Kakashi drawls. “I can hold some dirt so you can have this.”

He holds out his hands, and Iruka hands him the bag.

“Thank you, Kakashi.”

_He’s already choked up._

“Forget about me. I see a familiar orange jumpsuit.”

Iruka’s attention snaps to the ramen stand, and Kakashi finds himself trotting to keep up as Iruka powers forewarn.

They reach Naruto just in time for Teuchi to set three bowls on the counter.

“Three?” Naruto asks. “But I only ordered one. Are you expecting somebody?”

“He is,” Iruka rasps.

Naruto whips around, his eyes wide like they were when he saw Iruka at the edge of the forest.

“Sensei?”

“I hope you don’t mind. I haven’t had ramen for a long time, and I wanted to wait for you.”

Rather than answer, Naruto flies at Iruka.

“You didn’t think I’d stay out there forever, did you?” Iruka asks the top of Naruto’s head.

Naruto pulls away and wipes at his eyes. He doesn’t sob like he did before, but as he tows Iruka back to the stand- and Iruka tows Kakashi- his voice is thick with unshed tears.

As the three of them sit, Kakashi exchanges looks with Teuchi’s daughter. She and her father both turned away from Naruto and Iruka to wipe at their own eyes.

“It never felt right with only Naruto,” Ayame explains. “This is how it’s supposed to be.”

She looks over, and Kakashi follows her eyes to where Naruto is eating an egg he clearly stole from Iruka’s bowl. Iruka isn’t saying anything about it, and Kakashi doesn’t see any reason to mention it.

He doesn’t see a reason to mention the hand Iruka lays on his thigh either.

* * *

Kakashi returns Iruka’s bag of dirt after the meal. He knows without being told that Iruka and Naruto need to be alone for Iruka’s homecoming.

Iruka nods his thanks before he returns to Naruto’s side, and the two of them walk away, disappearing into the crowd.

* * *

“So,” Hiruzen says as the principal finishes his presentation, which Kakashi just managed to reach on time after the surprise trip to Ichiraku, “this is the new curriculum you came up with.”

The four of them- the principal, Daikoku, Suzume, and Kakashi- nod.

Hiruzen puffs on his pipe. “It’s good.”

* * *

Iruka and his bag of dirt show up at Kakashi’s door an hour or so after the meeting with Hiruzen ended.

“Can I come in?”

Kakashi nods and steps back so Iruka and his bag of dirt can come through.

“Is Naruto all right?”

“Yes, he’s fine.”

Iruka adjusts his bag, and Kakashi quickly motions for him to set it down, which Iruka does with a sigh of relief.

“Thank you.”

“I wouldn’t make you hold that indefinitely, Sensei.”

“I meant letting me have that time with Naruto,” Iruka corrects. “More than that, actually. If you hadn’t helped, he would have suffered for even longer, and I would have as well.”

Kakashi shifts uncomfortably under the weight of Iruka’s gratitude. “It was a mission from the hokage. I wouldn’t have done anything if it hadn’t been.”

“Even so, you didn’t just grab Naruto and chuck him into the forest. That’s more than anyone else cared enough to try.”

He’s right, but Kakashi only grows more uncomfortable.

“You didn’t have to come all this way just to-”

“I like you.”

Kakashi freezes. “What?”

Iruka’s cheeks are turning so red, they must hurt, but he looks at Kakashi steadily and repeats himself. “I like you. More than like you. And it isn’t just because of all you’ve done for Naruto and me.” He scratches at his cheek and looks away for a moment. When he looks back at Kakashi, he smiles hesitantly. “I don’t expect anything from you, but I had to say something.”

“You…” Kakashi swallows. “I was going to say that.”

Iruka’s expression lifts. “You were?”

Kakashi ducks his head and feels his own face heat. “Yeah.”

“So that means we’re…”

“Together? I think so.” Kakashi tries to focus on Iruka’s growing smile instead of the awkward confession he has to make. “I haven’t really done this before.”

Iruka blinks at him, then smiles even wider. “There’s no time to start like the present, right?”

Kakashi nods, relieved and a little confused about this happening in his apartment instead of their spot in the forest. Without meaning to, he says, “I was right.”

“About me?”

He’s already dug himself a hole. Kakashi may as well commit to it. He doesn’t quite manage to look Iruka in the eye as he says, “About you looking good here.”

He clears his throat, intending to talk about anything else, but before he can, Iruka says, “I’d tell you I don’t kiss before the second date, but I do. If I really like the person, I mean.”

“You really like me, right?” Kakashi asks.

Iruka nods. “I really like you.”

“What if I don’t kiss before the second date?”

“Then I’d like to ask you out on our first.”

“What if I want to kiss you now?”

“Then I’d like you to kiss me now.”

When Kakashi touches Iruka’s cheek, Iruka closes his eyes.

When Kakashi kisses him, Iruka pulls him closer.

When Kakashi leans in to kiss him a second time, he feels the end of Iruka’s quiet, “Finally.”

* * *

“I don’t have sex before the third date,” Iruka tells him.

Kakashi nods, struggling to keep up with what Iruka’s saying. “So this isn’t us having sex. Since we’re about to go on our first date.”

Iruka shakes his head. “I guess it depends on how you define having sex, but I’m definitely about to go down on you.”

“I see.”

Iruka pauses in the middle of pulling Kakashi’s boxers down, brow furrowing. “Do you not want me to? You looked like you did earlier, but-”

“No, I do!” Kakashi says quickly. “I was just wondering if I’ll have to wait until after dinner or if I can be impatient,too, and blow you now.”

“I see.”

“Is that a no, or-”

Iruka gives Kakashi’s a quick tug the rest of the way down. “That’s a ‘you can be impatient, but I spent months thinking about this, and if you keep talking like that I’m going to come before you get my pants off’. And neither of us wants me to do that.”

Kakashi takes a deep breath in. “One of us doesn’t want you to do that,” he corrects. “I wouldn’t mind waiting to blow you until after we eat if that’s why.”

Iruka doesn’t answer, but he does put his face on Kakashi’s hip and groan.

* * *

Kakashi gets to go down on Iruka before dinner and after it.

* * *

Their second date, which doesn’t include the scattered times Kakashi managed to get a moment alone with Iruka and steal a few kisses, is a month later, postponed by Kakashi being sent on two missions.

They spread out Iruka’s blanket and spend a few hours lying on it together. They don’t do more than kiss, and Kakashi doesn’t mind going home and quickly jerking off on his own before leaving for his next mission.

Iruka made him a promise, and Kakashi fully intends to come back and collect.

* * *

He doesn’t get to collect for six months because his five-day mission lasts six weeks and by the time he gets back, someone else got to tell Iruka about the Academy’s new program.

“They’re putting me in charge of teaching the kids how to fight,” he says when Kakashi slips into Iruka’s room. He’s sitting at his desk with a bunch of books, journals, and a massive binder spread out in front of him. “But you already knew that because you had a hand in convincing everyone that restructuring would be a good idea.”

Across the hall, Naruto snorts in his sleep.

Kakashi ducks his head. “I was waiting to see if they could do it, and by the time they figured it out I was away.” 

Iruka rubs his forehead. “You really should have talked to me about this before you spoke to Daikoku and Suzume- who should have spoken to me before they approached the vice principal, who should have done the same before he brought it up with the principal.”

“Who should have spoken to you before we brought the idea to the hokage,” Kakashi finishes. “And I should have brought it up after that. I’m sorry, Iruka.”

“I know you are,” Iruka says. He reaches out and pulls Kakashi over by his flak jacket. “Daikoku and Suzume did eventually explain that they did most of the legwork and only dragged you along because they thought it would make the proposal more appealing if you were there.”

“So you aren’t mad?” Kakashi asks hopefully.

“No, I’m mad, but I’m not as mad as I was. And you’ll be the one noticing the next six months of abstention while I’m killing myself putting this class together in time for the school year.”

Kakashi winces. “Maybe I could help?”

“You’ve already helped too much,” Iruka says flatly. He softens it by taking Kakashi’s hand. “I really do have to get to work on this, so you can give me one apology kiss before you go.”

Kakashi gives him his kiss, but Iruka insists on two more.

“One to welcome you home,” he explains, “and one to say I’ll miss you because I won’t have time for you until this is over.”

He points Kakashi out the window after that.

* * *

By the time the third month of his exile arrives, Kakashi has begun to question whether he really is forgiven. He sees Iruka and his bag of dirt all over the village, but when he tried to get close, Iruka shook his head sharply and pointedly looked away.

* * *

They’re two days into the fifth month, and Kakashi has started training every morning with Guy just to have an excuse to be miserable and awake before dawn.

He’s about to send Guy flying when Guy grins at him and points at something over Kakashi’s shoulder.

Kakashi stops himself mid-throw to see what Guy is giving him that look for.

Iruka waves at him.

“Love reunited,” Guy says, audibly pleased with himself for being able to say something Kakashi can’t shrug off. “I won’t expect you in the morning for a while.”

Kakashi drops him to the ground.

“What?” Guy yells after him. “Don’t hide from it, Kakashi!”

Kakashi ignores him in favor of trotting over to Iruka.

“It’s only been four months.”

Iruka nods. “Four months and two days.”

“How are you?”

“Tired. But we’re done.” He looks relieved and reaches for Kakashi.

Kakashi takes a step back. “I’m glad.”

He knows he’s being childish, but he’s had months to think about how easily Iruka pushed him away.

“Naruto’s out with his friends,” Iruka says, retracting his hand. “Will you come over?”

Kakashi nods.

“Do you want to wait, or is now okay?”

“Now is fine.”

With a nod, Iruka hoists his bag of dirt up and turns toward his apartment.

Usually, Kakashi offers to carry it, but he already pushed Iruka away. Pretending he isn’t hurt won’t make either of them feel better.

From the way Iruka’s holding himself, he would probably just push Kakashi away in return.

* * *

The walk to Iruka’s apartment takes longer than it should.

Iruka doesn’t say anything. Neither does Kakashi.

* * *

The walk is long enough that Kakashi has ample time to brace himself for the impending argument.

* * *

The walk is so long that Kakashi braces himself so well he gets angry.

* * *

Iruka gestures for Kakashi to go into the apartment first.

That’s how they’ve always done it, but today it sets Kakashi’s teeth on edge. He silently adds it to his list of reasons to be angry as he shuts the door. He takes a breath before he faces Iruka and the fight he’ll bring. 

When he turns around, though, Iruka’s temper isn’t flaring. He’s looking at Kakashi with… guilt?

“I’m sorry, Kakashi,” he says. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You’re- What?”

Iruka winces. “At the restaurant, months ago, you were going to come over, right?” Kakashi nods, and Iruka looks even guiltier. “I didn’t mean to make you think I didn’t want to see you. I hadn’t been paying attention to the vice principal because I’d been thinking about seeing you again, and when I saw you, I panicked.”

The indignation Kakashi had worked himself up to gives way to suspicion. “Why would you panic?”

“I knew if you came in, I wouldn’t get anything done and the vice principal would get angry with me.” Iruka chuckles tightly. “He’s happy with me now, but at that time, he’d noticed that I’d been distracted and questioned whether I was really committed to returning to teaching.”

“So you panicked.”

“I did. I kept hoping you’d come back so I could tell you I didn’t mean it like that, but you didn’t, and I figured it would be better to focus on getting ready for school and be done with it. I think Naruto got a little freaked out about how much I was working toward the end,” he says, lifting a hand to the back of his head. “I wouldn’t do a bad job, but I really wanted to see you.”

His face is flushed with embarrassment, and Kakashi lets the suspicion go. He’s still feeling raw, but he can’t be angry when Iruka keeps shooting him worried looks.

“I didn’t understand why you did that,” he admits. “I started to wonder, you know? Our dates could have been things friends would do, so it seemed like you knew I wasn’t going to greet you like a friend and didn’t want that.” He shrugs. “Maybe you were angrier with me about the school than you’d said.”

Iruka shakes his head. “I wasn’t!”

Kakashi feels himself smile. “I’m glad.”

“What about you? Are you mad?”

“No,” Kakashi says quickly.

Iruka heaves a sigh. “So that’s a yes.”

It’s Kakashi’s turn to wince. “A little, yes.”

“Let me make it up to you?” Iruka asks. “I got gyoza from that place you mentioned liking but were never able to go to. There’s nabeyaki udon, too, in case you don’t want gyoza.”

“I told you about Yasuda?” Kakashi asks, peering over Iruka’s neck in search of takeaway containers.

Iruka smiles at him and heads to the kitchen; Kakashi follows on his heels.

He hasn’t had much of an appetite for a while, but between the relief of Iruka not being ashamed of him and the promise of his favorite gyoza, it’s catching up with him.

“It was a while back,” Iruka tells him. “You and Naruto had just gotten back from a mission where he ate most of his rations because he got bored, and you mentioned you can only eat in certain places or the smells will get to you.”

Kakashi pauses. “You remembered that?”

“I did teach an Inuzuka. And I figured that if I ever asked you out, it would be a good idea to pick places where we could eat outside.” Iruka reaches into the oven and pulls the food out. “It should still be warm.”

Swallowing hard, Kakashi ignores the food and puts his arms around Iruka, pulling him into a hug from behind.

Iruka sets the food down. “Kakashi?”

“I’m glad you aren’t angry with me.”

Iruka covers Kakashi’s hands with his own. “I’m glad you’re only a little angry with me. It would hurt to lose you like that, especially when I’ve been working so hard not to need the dirt.”

Kakashi is too happy to be holding Iruka again to ask properly, but he manages to make an inquiring noise.

“You didn’t even notice, did you? Well, I guess you had other things on your mind.”

Iruka pats Kakashi’s hands and makes to walk away to do something elsewhere.

Kakashi squeezes him harder.

Iruka sighs but stops moving. “The bag is half as big now. I used all the running around I had to do as a way to train.”

“Naruto will be happy to hear that.”

“He will, but it wasn’t just for him. I’d like to be able to go places with you without literal baggage.” His thumbs brush over Kakashi’s knuckles. “As nice as the view is, I’d rather see you holding my hand.”

Without meaning to, Kakashi squeezes him harder. “You did that for me?”

“I did it for you. I’ll never be able to go far from Konoha this way, but it’s not like I left the village very often before I died. Now,” he continues briskly, “are you going to help me eat the food I bought you?”

Kakashi hums. “If I’m still angry, will you feed me?”

Iruka can pretend he doesn’t laugh all he wants; Kakashi feels his laughter.

* * *

Naruto comes in sometime in the middle of the afternoon. Kakashi is sprawled out on the futon with Iruka, dozing happily and craning his neck for a kiss each time Iruka turns the page of the book he’s reading.

The door flies open but, Kakashi notes with interest, stops short of hitting anything.

“I’m home, Iruka-sensei!” Naruto shouts.

“Welcome back,” Iruka calls.

Kakashi echoes him.

“Are you decent?” Naruto asks. “Because I do live here, too. And I let you have the apartment all morning like I said I would.”

Iruka sighs. “Yes, Naruto, we’re fully dressed. Thank you for letting me have my apartment for a little while.”

“It’s my apartment, though,” Naruto reminds him, carefully poking his head into the room. “You gave it to me when you died. I have the papers.”

Kakashi hides a snort with a cough.

“Yes, I did.” Iruka’s voice softens, “and you’ve taken good care of it.”

“Don’t worry,” Kakashi says. “Iruka will be moving in with me soon.”

“He will?”

“Kakashi is being funny,” Iruka grits, “aren’t you, Kakashi?”

“Yep!”

Iruka doesn’t see it because he’s glaring at Kakashi, but Naruto looks relieved.

_He isn’t ready to let go even that much yet?_

Iruka looks back at Naruto, who perks up and explains that he only came back to get his balloon.

“Why does he have one balloon?” Kakashi asks.

“Because he popped the others at me when I told him you’d probably be spending time with me here. It was annoying and the neighbors complained,” Iruka adds, pointedly raising his voice. “I had to smooth things over with your landlord.”

“Our landlord, Sensei,” Naruto says brightly as he returns. “And if Kakashi-sensei wasn’t worth a couple balloons popping, he would t be worth your time.”

He runs out while Iruka and Kakashi are still blinking at him.

“Was that wise?” Iruka asks. “Or was he just being literal?”

Kakashi shakes his head. “Who knows? With Naruto, it’s probably both.”

Leaning back into Kakashi, Iruka nods. “Probably.”

* * *

“It has a spare room,” Kakashi explains, laying his plan out on the table just to the side of Iruka’s breakfast. “Naruto can use it when he visits.”

Iruka looks at the papers Kakashi set out before him. “You want to buy a house? Now? Why?”

“Mostly, my goal is not having to be quiet when we’re in bed anymore-” Kakashi ignores the strangled noise Iruka makes “-but I’m saying we should do this now because Naruto’s training with Jiraiya and can’t get in the way and because it would be nice for his father to welcome him home to a house where the room is really his.”

The argument Iruka had been gearing up to make disappears at the word “father”. “I know you’re using the adoption papers to manipulate me.”

“Is it really manipulation if you know I’m doing it?”

“Yes. It’s just bad.”

“Then sit on it.” Kakashi sets the papers aside and sits down on the edge of the table. “I want to make a home with you, but I can wait. There will be other houses, and Naruto will be around long after we aren’t. I just liked this one.”

“That’s also manipulative.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t date a ninja.”

Iruka scowls at him, but when Kakashi leans in for a kiss, Iruka keeps him for two more.

“I better get going,” Kakashi says.

Rolling his eyes, Iruka still presses a goodbye kiss to Kakashi’s cheek. “Don’t want to be late to being late, huh?”

“You see?” Kakashi asks, kissing Iruka’s cheek in return. “I told you it would make sense eventually.”

“Just don’t be home late.”

Getting up, Kakashi pretends not to see Iruka reach for the papers he left behind. “I can’t predict how the road of life will look, Iruka. Traffic can get tricky.”

“That’s a shame. I convinced our neighbors to spend time elsewhere tonight, but if traffic is that bad, I’ll just have a night to myself. I’ve been thinking about trying some new things for a while, and this will be the perfect time.” 

“I’ll come home on time!” Kakashi says quickly. “There are shortcuts. Shortcuts only I know.”

Iruka smiles into his coffee. “Please do.”

* * *

Kakashi watches Iruka slump over the counter in defeat.

“It isn’t that bad,” he lies.

“You’re a terrible liar. How hard can tempura be?”

“We all have shortcomings. Yours is cooking.” Kakashi rubs Iruka’s shoulder. “But you are unparalleled at manipulation. You really had me thinking we were going to have sex tonight.”

Straightening up, Iruka shakes his head, visibly putting his disappointment aside. “That wasn’t the manipulation- either we’d celebrate the tempura or I’d console myself by making you come. The manipulation was getting you to come home before I did so I wouldn’t have to miss you.”

He grins like he’s never been happier, and Kakashi has to kiss him before his heart gives out.

* * *

“I want the one next to it,” Iruka mumbles into Kakashi’s shoulder. Like Kakashi, he’s sweaty and barely awake. Unlike Kakashi, he drifts off quickly after he comes. If he’s staying awake to talk, it’s important.

The last thing Kakashi remembers Iruka talking about was how much he loves Kakashi, which doesn’t make sense.

“The one next to it,” Kakashi repeats, trying to jog his memory.

Iruka hums. “The house you picked is pretty, but the plumbing is faulty. The one next to it has a room for Naruto and good pipes. We should live there.”

He sighs and shifts on top of Kakashi, making himself more comfortable.

Kakashi kisses the top of Iruka’s head. “Then let’s live there.”

* * *

Naruto tears up when he sees the house.

“You have your own room,” Iruka is trying to tell him, anxious to make Naruto love the home he spent months picking out. “It’s the size of a real room this time.”

“Give him a minute,” Kakashi suggests. “Last time he was here, he finally got a dad. Now his dad is giving him a house. It’s a lot.”

Naruto mumbles something Kakashi doesn’t catch as he rubs at his eyes.

“What?” Kakashi asks.

“I said ‘two dads’,” Naruto says, a challenge in his eyes. “If Iruka-sensei is my dad, then you are, too.”

Kakashi’s mouth goes dry.

“Congratulations,” Iruka says, his own voice wobbling as he leans into Kakashi. “You have a beautiful, bouncing teenage son.”

* * *

“Naruto,” Kakashi says patiently, “if you don’t stop telling people that you’re afraid of coming home because Iruka and I might be having sex somewhere outside our bedroom, one of your fathers is going to die of embarrassment and you’re going to get murdered by the other one.”

“But, Sensei,” Naruto whines, “can you really say you're my father if I've never even seen your face? Wait." He glances between Kakashi and Iruka. "Which father?”

“Me,” Iruka says faintly.

“Iruka,” Kakashi says at the same time. “I don’t feel embarrassment.”

Naruto looks at him suspiciously. “You _do_ read those weird books in public…”

Kakashi lets him rattle off reasons Kakashi can’t be embarrassed. It will keep him occupied for a while, and Kakashi would rather sit with his husband.

“He still hasn’t noticed, has he?” Iruka asks as Kakashi sits down and takes his hand. “I don’t think I’ve seen you with an Icha Icha book in years. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen any of them at all in a while.”

“That’s interesting.” Kakashi lays his head on Iruka’s shoulder.

“If they’re in Naruto’s room, I’ll divorce you.”

Kakashi shakes his head. “They aren’t.”

He can't just come out and say he threw the entire series out the day he proposed to Iruka. He'd have to explain that he only has interest in one paradise, and Icha Icha can't be it, not when it doesn't have this.

**Author's Note:**

> Me, watching my phone struggle to open the 89-page document this came from so I can type the last couple paragraphs: I forgot what this was about like ten thousand words ago, but fuck Icha Icha
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://asotin.tumblr.com) if you'd like to!


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